


Hurricane

by LittleGrayTurtle



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Bondage, Choking, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Gags, M/M, Smut, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, pure trash, trash, travelling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:56:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleGrayTurtle/pseuds/LittleGrayTurtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could it be? Could it be that after all these years? That familiar giggle, that familiar sound of high heels clicking, that familiar blonde hair, those familiar fragile hands, those familiar black eyes... Could it be he is back?<br/>But he once said he does not come back to places he once left and those are words clinging to Reita as mysterious person arrives at his door.</p><p> </p><p>halsey - hurricane</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Violence in the pouring rain

Heavy rain was scattering against widows in his apartment. Every drop forming a thick waterline on glassy surface creating an individual, one of a kind path. Reita could see his reflection in the window as he chopped some vegetables for dinner. Something about this image was extremely disturbing. Water dripping down his body that was trapped in the window frame. It felt like rain wanted to wash down something but not a single thing changed in Reita's reflection. He started humming quietly some kind of gloomy song, fitting in the mood of thunderstormy evening.

Every lightning made his living room turn white for a milisecond. He smiled gently as he watched focused face of his boyfriend light up from time to time. Scaaary! He was working on some kind of really important project, writing with the speed of Sonic the Hedgehog bunch of random numbers and letters that Reita did not understand. Reita was never keen on programming and basically everything related to maths scared him. Well, Uruha was the only exepction.

"Ah, kids these days" Uruha sighedand put aside his laptop. After stretching out on the couch he grabbed his cup and sipped on some coffee. "Could you believe even high quality of graphics, elaborate characters and extremely complicated plot do not satisfy them" complained Uruha and massaged his scalp.

"Come on you are not that much of an adult yourself! 31? What is it? Talk to me when you turn 40 and the generation gap between you and kids from middle school playing your games will be insuperable." Reita chuckled and turned stove on, intending to make some delicious ramen. Since the weather was awful some yummy soup could brighten up their day for sure.

"You just say so because you want me to assure you I will still be talking to you when I'm fourty" Uruha teased and leaned back, letting his head rest for a bit before coming back to writing a new game. "I can't deny this gap will grow wider and wider but I am just not able to understand why teenagers make such a fuss over women's breasts. If only they could feel our pain when we had only got triangle, unnatural, pixelated Lara Croft's boobs!"

"I thought you were never really attracted to boobs?" Reita asked confused, adding two eggs to pan, cracking them skillfully with one hand. Going to that cooking course wasn't a bad idea after all. Maybe Reita wasn't fated to become the next Gordon Ramsey but at least he could earn a praise from his lover.

Uruha laughed at Reita pointing that out. "Well you are right. I never was but Tomb Raider was a huge thing back then. Everyone played it and everyone was dreaming about Lara Croft. Well I was't exactly the one to have wet dreams about her but the idea was pretty hot, you know." After explaining himself Uruha grabbed his laptop and came back to writing.

For a minute or two the only noises that could be detected were clicking of buttons on keybord, calm, steady simmering and muffled sounds of thunder.  
When suddenly a loud knocking on the door to Reita's apartment could be heard. They didn't expect any friends coming over so that sound surprised both of them.

"I'll go check on that" Uruha offered and Reita did not opposed at all since he was desperate to make a really tasty dinner.

Uruha got up from the couch and headed to corridor. He was confused and surprised since they did not invite anyone over. Maybe it was just neighbour intending to borrow some sugar. That kind of cliche scenario he had in mind.

Oh, how wrong was he.

"I'm coming!" Uruha shouted since notorious banging started annoying him. He grabbed keys from the shelf and opened door. He wasn't expecting that. Uruha got even a little scared so he backed off and grabbed nearest umbrella in case he had to protect himself.

In the door was standing short guy wearing long black coat, huge hat and red gloves. He was soaking wet, shivering and rubbing his hands together. When he saw Uruha backing off he simply entered the apartment, leaving wet patches behind him. Uruha's eyes narrowed in shock and he grabbed an umbrella in self defense. "You must be Reita's new boyfriend, huh?" asked mysterious Shorty and got him totally off track.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Uruha asked cofused as he watched that black figure removing his hat and haning it on the hook on nearest wall.

"I'm Reita's ex-" that guy stopped for a bit, thinking some more about what he wanted to say. "Ex-friend I guess. Would you mind giving me a towel, I'm soaking wet and cold" Shorty smiled hoping Uruha would fall for his puppy eyes just like 99.9% of wolrd population did.

Uruha nodded quietly still quite in shock. When suddenly both of them turned their heads to the kitchen where empty sound of something hard landing on the floor could be heard from. It was Reita, dropping spatula after his brain recognized voice coming from the corridor.

It couldn't be.

After all these years.

No way.


	2. Goodbye to safe and sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where to go when you left behing everything?

Ruki hung keys on a hook, walked out of the door and shut them close. He pressed the button to call the elevator. While waiting he opened his backpack and checked if he had packed his wallet. That was everything he needed right now. Passport, credit cards, pictures of his family members. Everything was in place. Ruki closed his backpack and sighed loudly. He was absolutely crazy for doing that. He had no plan, not even a single idea where he wanted to go. Did he really just coldly left everything and decided on leaving Japan? Ruki wasn’t sure himself. The only thing was lingering in his mind was fresh picture of blonde guy standing in the middle of corridor blankly watching him leave the apartment. Blonde guy that he loved so much yet he just abandoned without second thought.

The high sound announcing arrival of the elevator broke Ruki’s thoughts. He walked in and pressed “0” button. Then he turned around to watch himself in the mirror. There were some things he needed to fix in his look before changing his life. He adjusted his fringe, wiped up smudged mascara from his eyelids and tied his shoelaces properly. Satisfied with the outcome, Ruki smiled at himself, took out pair of huge sunglasses and covered half of his face with them.

When elevator finally arrived on the ground floor, Ruki walked out of it in hurry, intending to leave this building as soon as possible. It turned out luck was on his side because he literally bumped into a person getting out of a taxi. He nicely apologized and waited for the person to pay. Then Ruki took a seat in a back of the car and told driver the destination. Narita Airport.

“Flying away, are we? Well, I am not really surprised, you are young it’s the time to see some world, isn’t it? When I was your age…” started the driver and Ruki knew exactly what kind of a person he stumbled upon in this taxi. He didn’t reply, just nodded and smiled when driver went on with his chitchat.

Ruki stopped paying attention somewhere between story about being young and story about buying a bed for his newborn baby. This taxi driver was a really nice and charming man in his forties but Ruki wasn’t really in a mood to listen to crap about normal comfy life when he just said goodbye to that kind of lifestyle. Instead he focused on driver’s hands on the steering wheel.

These were unexpectedly well-groomed hands. And the way they danced around the round object with every turn driver took. Ruki has never seen hands moving so neatly. Every time this guy moved turn signal switch with his pinky finger Ruki let out a quiet amazed gasp.  
Astonished Ruki appreciated in his mind what a beautiful play was being performed right before him. He did not have a driving license so all these combinations remained unknown for him. How come he never noticed what a complicated formulas you needed to know to make engine listen to you. How was that even possible taxi driver was doing all of these things subconsciously, without a second thought. But the more Ruki thought about that, the more he realized that was exactly how he promised himself once to live his life. Thinking too much only make you have a headache, doesn’t it?

Ruki chuckled out loud at himself, thus ending his deep inner monologue. “Am I being too noisy, Sir?” asked the driver, confused at this mysterious chuckle coming from the backseat.

“No. I’m just so amazed what a gracious driver you are” Ruki said, immediately noticing in the rear-view mirror he made this poor guy even more confused. That’s how it is these days. People don’t know how to take compliment because they are so used to being degraded. Ruki really believed this world needed some more good people. And you bring up good in people by being yourself good for them.

“I wouldn’t call myself gracious, you know” the driver laughed out loud and scratched the back of his head. “I for sure can drive a car but nothing unusual or magic about that. This one is automatic so it’s a piece of cake. I had always had prefered cars with gearbox, you know. Oh only if you could see me driving that kind of engine...” and so went on the driver with his monologue.

When they finally arrived at Narita Airport Ruki noticed he knew much more about cars thanks to this ride. He paid the driver and honestly thanked him for beautiful ride, making driver blush a little bit. Finally Ruki said good bye and walked out of the taxi. Before him was a huge building and loud roar of flying planes could be heard.

Ruki walked in to the airport still not knowing where he wanted to go. The main advantage of place he planned to choose had to be “far away”. He stood before departure table and caught himself thinking about what the hell he was running away from. Job? He liked his job, it was even well-paid one so he couldn’t complain at all. Lover? He loved his boyfriend, even bought an apartment together with him lately. But something about staying so long in one place made him feel empty. There were so many people to know, so many places to see. He was never a person who sticked to people and places for long. “It’s just how I am. I do not come back to places I once left” he used to say about himself. In fact, it was true.

As he stood looking at the departure table, thinking deeply, someone suddenly bumped into him making him lose balance and fall on his knees. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I did not see you! Are you okay?” he heard and turned his head to see young girl with a big orange suitcase. She was a plain looking white girl and her face said one emotion. Terrified. Was Ruki this scary? Okay, maybe his platforms, black clothes and dark make-up stereotypically did not make him look like the nicest guy on Earth.

Even though his knees hurt as hell he stood up and smiled gently to the girl. “It’s okay it happens sometimes, eh?” he said and massaged his knees hissing quietly with slightest touch. Then suddenly a crazy idea appeared in his brain. So he asked “Where are you coming from?”.

“Um… Germany?” girl’s eyes narrowed as she gave the answer uncertainly.

“Which city do you find the most interesting and beautiful in Germany?” Ruki asked and checked on the departure table to catch if there are any flights to Germany today.

“I think Köln. It is really breath-taking” girl looked confused not understanding what were these questions for.

“So to the Germany, Köln I go. Bye” Ruki confidently started walking in the direction to ticket office leaving shocked girl and her orange suitcase behind.

Luckily queue wasn’t long and about five minutes later Ruki was asking a smartly clothed blonde girl about ticket to the closest flight to Germany. Young woman checked him out and furrowed her eyebrows. Well Ruki couldn’t exactly blame her. He definitely looked suspicious. A young guy, all in black clothes and wearing huge sunglasses. That kind of people always attract attention. Ruki wasn’t sure why because most scary looking people he met had the biggest hearts.

“Where exactly in Germany do you want to go?” the travel agent asked, typing something on her keyboard. Ruki just shrugged his shoulders, telling her without words that he doesn’t really care where as long as it is in Germany somewhere. “The closest direct flight is to Berlin in three hours. It lands in Berlin SXF.”

“Okay. I’ll take it” Ruki didn’t really know what Berlin SXF meant but he didn’t really care either. He decided he would worry about that when he arrived in Germany. Woman asked him some more usual questions about baggage, seat, class etc. Good five minutes has passed until he left ticket office and headed to check in.

The vision of spending next two hours in waiting room wasn’t really an interestingly sounding one but when Ruki finally sat down on one of uncomfortable plastic chairs he watched planes taking off through the window. Suddenly a shot of excitement overtook his body. His heartbeat became really unsteady and he unconsciously started rocking his right foot just like he used to when he was anxious yet excited. Only a thought about planes leaving literally to every place on Earth in next 24 hours made his adrenals release huge amounts of adrenaline. All these people in waiting room heading to different destination points, every single one of them with his own secret purpose. Purpose Ruki could never know. Shame.

While boarding Ruki decided on one thing. That now he has this one long-haul flight to think about everything he left here in Japan. When he walks out of this plane, all these thoughts will be left there. Forever.

Ruki found himself a seat in the middle of the plane, next to the window. “Twelve hours in economic class, sounds wonderful” mumbled to himself Ruki, took off his shoes, adjusted the seatbelt and curled his body on the seat. When plane took off, his brain also took off. Took off to memories of last five years.

Waking up. Brushing your teeth. Making breakfast. Waking up his lover. Several minutes in public transport. Ten hours making commercials, editing videos, replying to e-mails, meetings, eating lunch with people he didn’t even know. Another minutes spent in public transport. Groceries shopping. Dinner with his lover. Sex. Movie. Brushing his teeth. Going to sleep.

His own fucking marry-go-round of reality.

So this is what he was running away from. Tears started flowing from Ruki’s eyes. He wasn’t even trying to hide them. People could think about him whatever they wanted. It was not their goddamn business. With pictures of his beloved blonde guy’s grumpy face when Ruki woke him up, his smirk when Ruki dropped laundry on his head, yelling on him for being a lazy asshole, his smile when Ruki came back home placed in Ruki’s mind, he spent about thirty minutes crying like a little baby.  
Ruki’s head started hurting and suddenly he felt overwhelming tiredness. His mind played one more trick on him and showed him mentally a picture of his parents reacting to news about him buying an apartment in Tokyo with his boyfriend. The light of hope in their eyes made Ruki spill some more tears but soon he dozed off.

He woke up just in time when plane landed in Berlin. When he was walking out of the plane his brain hit him with image of his boyfriend once again but Ruki shook it off, fished for his sunglasses in backpack, put them on and quickly rushed to the exit. He noticed the airport wasn’t that different form that one in Tokyo. Maybe airports were places on Earth where people are the same. One big organized mess. Paradox just like the human existence itself.

It took about ten minutes for him to find a taxi stop and getting in one of the cars. Driver turned out to be a young blonde guy. He asked him something in German. “Sorry, I don’t speak German. Is English okay?” Ruki panicked, a small part of his brain telling him he is seriously screwed if this guy doesn’t know English.

“Of course. Hello. Where do you want to go Sir?” driver repeated his question from earlier in English.

Ruki stared blankly in front of him for a while. Where he wanted to go? Such a simple question you will be always given to answer in taxi yet Ruki had problems brining his thoughts together. “Um… My destination point is Köln. But I guess I would go bankrupt driving there with a taxi so maybe some kind of train station?”

Blonde man laughed at the vision of his passenger wanting him to drive all the way to Köln. His voice was definitely nice and low. “Berlin central train station then?” taxi driver asked and started the car. Ruki nodded. Central, train, station, all these words made absolutely a perfect next point in his journey. Ruki took out his purse, fixed his make-up and hair, then made himself comfortable and focused on the driver.

The driver was a guy probably younger than him. He was wearing gray hoodie. His ears were pierced in several places similar to Ruki’s ones. Just like the driver back in Japan, this guy was also making all these magical moves to control the machine. Ruki noticed though, how different were these moves. German taxi driver’s hands were moving much more quicker and soon Ruki realized it was because this car had a gearbox. Ruki was even more amazed with how complicated driving a car was. This guy moved the signal light switch with his middle finger and Ruki wondered if it said something about a person. Like the opposite of direction in which you stir your tea tell you which half of your brain is the domineering one, maybe the finger you move signal light switch in your car meant something. What if it told something important. Ruki made a mental note about giving an idea for research for a scientist. But then some more realistic part of his brain told him “What if it would give us some useless info nobody needs. Like if you turn with your middle or pinky you like cheese, otherwise you don’t?” and Ruki immediately decided on deleting this mental note.

His stupid thoughts were scattered by irritating vibration coming out of his backpack. Ruki quickly fished out his phone. There was bold “Boss” name showing on a screen. Not thinking much Ruki took off the sim card, put it in his mouth, chewed a little bit on it. Then despite shocked face of the driver Ruki pressed a button to open a window and spitted piece of plastic out of the car.

“Are you a yakuza member?” asked the taxi driver. Ruki detected a little bit of worry in his voice he definitely tried to hide.

With that question Ruki realized how stupid that must have looked in driver’s eyes. What the heck was he thinking when following that urge. This ain’t some cliché thriller from the ’90. “No. I am not. Sorry, that must have creeped you out” Ruki laughed out loud and closed car window.

“Indeed” mumbled out the answer blonde driver and focused back on the road since they had just driven in the city center. That meant soon Ruki would have to leave and face the reality in Berlin Central Train Station.

  
Just like Ruki thought, after roughly ten minutes driver smoothly parked the taxi and told Ruki what sum of money he had to pay. Credit card was slid in the slot, pin entered. When control light on the terminal lit up green Ruki opened the door saying quick “Danke schön” and headed towards the entrance of huge building before him.

He immediately went to buy ticket for the closest train to Köln but it turned out there were no seats left so he would have to either stand or sit somewhere on the corridor all ride. Ruki didn’t really care though. Fortunately there was only fifteen minutes left until his train so this time there was no need to pointlessly watch people on the station.

Ruki did not know how hungry he was until he felt delicious smell of freshly baked bread coming from the bakery. Ten minutes later he was rushing to third platform with pretzel in his left hand and freshly squeezes orange juice in right one. He laughed mentally at himself for falling for that “bread smell” trick. Only yesterday he was the one recommending that for sales representatives from different shop brands.

Nothing was really rushing him so when the train finally showed up on its platform Ruki patiently waited until all people in the crowd entered. He was the last one getting on the train. Ruki was pretty shocked how many people were travelling. What was it? Monday? 1 PM? Definitely weird for train to be this crowded. It was hard to spot a nice place to sit but somehow Ruki managed to find a piece of floor behind last pair of seats and next to the luggage rack. He blessed his parents for transferring him “shortie genes”. Thanks to them Ruki could comfortably squish himself there. Five hours of being plastered to suitcases. Wonderful. Maybe soon he would start talking to them and make some friends. It wasn’t long for the jetlag to manifest itself and coo Ruki to sleep.

Not much time has passed before he woke up with suspicious feeling of being watched. He stretched himself as far as he could, making a deep growl and opened his eyes. He immediately noticed a pair of blue pupils between seats staring at him. When Ruki realized it was probably a kid looking at him, he couldn’t resist a wink and a smile. Pair of eyeballs suddenly disappeared.

Ruki heard his stomach rumbling so he grabbed a pack of cookies from his backpack and opened it with a rustle. Because of that sound like on command a pair of blue eyes was back between seats before him. “Are you a demon?” pair of eyeballs spoke to him.

“A demon?” Ruki asked back laughing out loud and offering this young boy a cookie. Okay, maybe his smudged make-up, black clothes and grumpy face made him look a little scary. But demon?

Boy took one cookie and turned his head to person sitting next to him asking something in German. Person replied and kid broke cookie to two pieces and gave that person one half, eating himself the rest. “Why are you sitting on the floor?” boy turned back his attention to Ruki.

“There are not enough seats for everyone. And I really wanted to get as soon as possible to Köln. How old are you?” it was Ruki’s turn to ask questions. It surprised him boy apparently were bilingual. Ruki fished out a small notepad and pen then started writing what he spent money on yesterday.

“I am eight. Almost nine. What are you writing about?' boy asked uncertainly licking chocolate from his lips. “Where are you from?”

Ruki smiled at this kid because he was exactly like that when he was younger. Well he couldn’t say he changed that much, he still was questioning everything but now he tried to answer by himself. Maybe it was a mistake to do so. “I am from Japan. Oh you know just keeping track of my expenses.”

“That’s wise. Japan? Cool! Do you know Japanese?” boy became so excited suddenly.

“I do. Do you want to learn something in Japanese?” Ruki offered. This could make pass time a little quicker. Kid nodded and once again asked something person next to him in German. Soon he was sitting next to Ruki, curiously staring at him. “Think of a word. Whatever you want.”

“A cat?”

Ruki slowly wrote kanji for cat on a page of his notepad. He saw boy’s face was at the same time confused and amazed. “It is pronounced 《 neko 》. It looks hard to write I know. But when you learn kanji by splitting them in radicals. This word consists of three radicals... This one is for 《 grass 》, this one is for 《 rice field 》and the last one is for 《 animal 》” Ruki explained. And it felt like he really made this boy more interested in learning Japanese. Maybe he should consider career of a teacher.

“Grass rice field animal? And that’s a cat. How weird” the boy laughed.

“How do you call a cat in German then?” Ruki asked, shaking his head.

“Katze. Die Katze. Why you go to Köln?” boy fired another question like a sniper.

“I need to find a place to live, a job. Well, I don’t have plans yet” Ruki said, realizing how stupid that must have sounded. “First thing to do will be probably to heal the pain of my back because of sitting like that”

“My dad is a doctor. He can help you! He can help everyone!” boy jumped up and came back to his seat. “Dad, this guy needs help, his back is not good.”

Between the seats appeared new pair of eyes staring at Ruki over glasses. “I’ve heard you are searching for a place to live in Köln. What a coincidence I am searching for a person to rent a room in my apartment. You made my son Adam actually interested in something. Maybe you could teach him Japanese. I was born in Japan but my parents moved to England when I was five. So I don’t remember a word in Japanese. This is just an offer. But think about it.”

Ruki was staring blankly at this man. No way he was this lucky. “You don’t even know me Sir” Ruki starter uncertainly.

“As long as you will be paying I don’t mind that. You seem like a good person. You don’t seem to carry much on you so you probably won’t stay for long in Köln anyway. By the way my name is Kai” said Adam’s father and smiled.

Ruki found that smile the most pure and honest he has ever seen. Like an angel. Maybe he was one. “I am Ruki. Let’s discuss the offer then” he returned the smile.

And Ruki knew he met a person just like he. A person who did not become a bad adult. Who did not lost faith in humanity. A person whose heart remained as the heart of a kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I even thinking. Such a trash lol.  
> See y'all in the garbage truck.


	3. Only pictures remain the same

Ruki was now rummaging through refrigerator in the kitchen when Uruha was forcing a glass of water into Reita’s mouth. Reita was in quite a shock, pinching himself from time to time to make sure that man in the kitchen wasn’t product of his imagination. Every pinch reassured him he wasn’t making that up. And Uruha’s confused and concerned face also spoke for that.

“So you guys don’t have any oj on you?” Ruki wondered quietly pouring himself a glass of milk. Quite disappointed he slammed loudly doors of the fridge and followed wonderful smell coming out of a pan on the oven. He grabbed chopsticks and ate some of this deliciously looking dish. “Hey, your cooking skills are on point! What happened to the Reita I knew? That one who couldn’t even properly boil an egg?” Ruki laughed out loud.

“What the hell are you thinking coming here out of blue?” that was the first sentence Ruki heard from Reita in four years. He froze. It wasn’t that he expected Reita to scream happily and run to embrace Ruki but the coldness in Reita’s voice... the indifference… just scared him. Ruki knew Reita like nobody else so he prepared for wave of rage that must have come after that coldness. “After four years of sending cheap postcards, doing god-knows-what, you just enter this apartment and complain about orange juice?” Reita growled.

The smile on Ruki’s face faded. “I just wanted to visit home…” he started but suddenly he saw Reita stand up violently and clenching his fists so hard Ruki was sure it hurt.

“Don’t you dare call this apartment home anymore in my presence” Reita shouted confidently at Ruki. His eyes were flaming. “You forced me to stay here for the last four years. Here in this cave of depression. Don’t even think you belong here anymore. This house forgot you just like you forgot me.”

“Wait a minute is that person the roommate you have talked about sometimes?” Uruha finally spoke. This situation was so confusing to him. Reita sometimes mentioned he was living with his best friend for a while but one day he just disappeared without a word and left Reita with quite a debt. Which was the result of his workaholic problems that got him in almost two years of depression. Then they met and Reita day by day was becoming more enthusiastic about life. “Is that your friend who left you without a word with a debt so you had to work 24/7?”

“A friend? A debt?” Ruki snorted and leaned on the kitchen counter. “You are missing on many things here.” He turned his eyes to Reita “You became a fine cook but also a wonderful liar.”

Reita was mad. He tried to walk to Ruki to warn him not to put his nose in his relationship. When a firm hand grabbed him by his shoulder. Uruha stopped him on purpose, his confusion slowly growing into anger and curiosity. “What do you mean by wonderful liar.”

“Oh you know I have no idea what debt you are talking about because there was none” Ruki shrugged his shoulders and sipped on some milk. “And I have no idea how somehow Reita failed to define my position in his life. We were boyfriends” Ruki cleared that up.” We even had some plans on engagement, you know. It seems Reita failed on many fields because the ring you are wearing is a faithful copy of mine. I bet you even fuck on the same bed he used to fuck me. I wonder what else he lied about.”

The words Ruki just fired out of his mouth left some kind of stingy impact of Uruha. Although he wasn’t the only one affected by them. Reita’s anger disappeared and now he was massaging his scalp overwhelmed with what was happening right now. The awkward silence was cut by Uruha. “Get out” these words were clearly addressed towards Ruki but he didn’t look like he was going to do anything because of them. “I said get out of this house. Or else I am calling the police” Uruha repeated himself and added a warning to make his statement clear.

“It will be hard to kick me out of here” Ruki admitted, smirking. “Reita must have forgotten to tell you another tiny detail. I own half of this apartment.”

“What” that was the only word Uruha managed to squeeze out of his throat. He looked at Reita, searching for any attempt on defending himself but there was no reaction other than quiet nod. And then both of them watched Ruki pick up his backpack and walk to the bathroom as if nothing happened.

Ruki walked into shower. His shower. That he owned and designed. No one had the right to take it away from him. It was a perfect time for a long and hot steam to wash some thoughts away. Okay, he had to admit he was a little bit harsh on Reita’s new boyfriend. It wasn’t even that he wanted to make Uruha hate him. He was just disgusted what kind of person he became. As he was thinking more about that he realized that he could have been a person who twisted him so much. But It was hard for Ruki to believe his leaving had broken Reita so much. No way.

The hot water made him relax a little bit. He looked around the bathroom to check if anything was out of order. And he had to admit nothing has changed for these 4 years. Ruki closed his eyes to fully emerge himself in the pleasure of hot shower that he hadn’t had a chance to take for a while. He grabbed a shower gel and when he opened the cap similar scent took over his senses. Bastard was still using the same brand. Immediately his brain guided him towards memories of fucking with Reita in that shower. When he called back the fresh memory of Reita clenching his fists he had to admit Reita was still a handsome guy. Maybe on his face appeared some new wrinkles. But his arms looked manly and muscular as always. Ruki was soon hard. Thinking about Reita's chest and hands he stroked himself until he came pretty hard.

When Ruki opened the door to bathroom his ears met unexpected silence. He thought Uruha and Reita would be fighting loudly. Curiosity took over him and he decided to peek on what was going on in the living room. He was quite in shock when there was no Uruha in the room, only Reita sitting on the couch with his head resting on the bolster. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be thinking about something heavily.  
And that sight woke up the beast inside Ruki he was keeping on a leash for last four years. Tears started streaming down his face. He couldn’t control them. But eyes were not the only parts of his body that betrayed him. Soon his muscles walked him to the couch, behind Reita, made him press his wet cheek to Reita’s face and say “I’m home Reita.”

Reita immediately pushed Ruki away and turned his mad gaze on him. “I told you that you have no right to call this place home anymore. What the hell do you want? Money? Ruin myself completely in my boyfriend’s eyes? What is the thing you want?”

“You ruined yourself by lying about important things. You’ve changed. You’ve never lied to me” Reita’s words hurt him. Why on Earth would Reita suspect him of wanting money or to ruin his life. He just wanted to see him. And he had no place to stay in Tokyo anyway. “I need a room to stay in Tokyo. And I kind of own this apartment. That’s all.”

“Oh so after four years of not giving a single shit about me and this apartment you show up, try to destroy my relationship and excuse yourself with not having a place to stay in Tokyo. Well-thought.” Fired Reita.

“After all of that I honestly just wanted to come back home” Ruki admitted looking like a lost puppy.

This trick did not work on Reita. After that sentence two hard slaps landed on his cheek. “And you expected me to wait for you like a dog? When you left you said I deserved better than you. Back then I didn’t believe you, entirely blamed myself for losing you. But now I can see. I do deserve better. And I have found someone who cares. Someone who makes me feel safe. I don’t care what you imagined when you came here. I got over it Ruki. You are not a part of my life anymore. You are no longer part of this home.I give you seven days. To sort out everything in Tokyo. You will sell your half of the apartment to me. Take the guest room. After seven days you will do what you can do best. Flee away. Now get out of my sight.”

Ruki stared blankly and massaged his left cheek. He unconsciously walked to the guest room and fell on the bed. Well, he couldn’t state that he didn’t deserve that hit, he probably deserved one thousand more slaps from Reita. But he just couldn’t believe Reita hit him. He couldn’t believe how cold was Reita towards him. It felt like a horrible nightmare.

Ruki grabbed his backpack, fished out his favourite picture of Reita he always kept in his wallet and ripped it. What the hell was he thinking. Only pictures remain the same as the time passes. People change.

He lied on the bed crying like a little baby for the rest of the night. Somewhere between sobs he realized he is also a liar. Liar who feed himself with assurances that whatever would happen Reita would wait for him. A stupid monkey who thought Reita loved him so much he would forgive him everything.

But he didn’t care about Ruki anymore.

It wasn’t even his Reita anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *garbage truck song plays in the bg*  
> GARBAGE TRUUUUUUUUUUCK


	4. You get me closer to god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saucy saucy
> 
> Mmmm sriracha af

His life in Germany was passing pretty quickly. It is not that he had particularly anything to complain about. Ruki managed to find a job in a coffee shop. At first he was absolutely sure this job is not for him but after a week he learned everything and stopped underperforming. Moreover his creativity stroke again when one day out of boredom he sketched a red panda on paper cup in which he served coffee. A guy who bought coffee in that cup was so amazed with Ruki’s skills and commitment he left a huge tip of ten Euro. Soon after that he begun on always drawing a little something on paper cups he made coffee in. Clients were so positively shocked with originality of this coffee shop that not long after that it became a thing luring in more and more customers. He became recognizable as that nice Asian coffee maker. When hiring Ruki, his boss was seriously uncertain about it. But Ruki gave his whole power into proving himself. And so he even earned himself a bonus this month. He definitely deserved that.

Ruki for the first couple of days had had a huge problem with understanding local people. But thanks to the kindness of his acquaintances’ he learned to freely communicate on a fine level. And when he wasn’t sure about something, he could always ask somebody. There were many people he relied on.

For example Kai and his family. They provided him a really comfortable room in their luxurious apartment. And the rent was affordable. Ruki was extremely thankful about all the kindness he received from Yutaka family. Of course it wasn’t like he was just a greedy leech depending on his freshly-made friends. Ruki always made sure he helped with everything. Whether it was doing the shopping or cleaning the whole apartment – he was absolutely fine with whatever he could do to return some of the niceness.

And obviously he had been teaching Kai’s son, Adam Japanese. Most of the population hates even a thought about possibility of being a teacher but Ruki for sure didn’t belong in that majority. He absolutely enjoyed that everyday Japanese lessons. Planting some new kanji and grammar rules in young boy’s head gave him huge satisfaction. Tutoring Adam was a pleasure mainly because he was absolutely smart and wholesome kid. Adam definitely inherited the best genes from his parents.

Speaking of parents, when that evening when the three of them – Kai, Adam and Ruki arrived in Köln, Ruki was extremely stressed out how Kai’s wife Lisa would react on her husband bringing home random jobless, weird looking Asian man. It turned out Lisa was surprised but somehow she found his husband’s instincts reliable enough to agree on the deal. First days passed with Lisa’s lack of trust towards Ruki. However now Ruki would classify them as a pair of good friends. They now could spend hours talking about everything and nothing while watching brain-washing TV shows, eating nachos, drinking wine and playing board games with Adam.  
Despite the age difference between him and all the Yutaka family members Ruki’s heart was slowly starting to believe he fitted in that home. Belonging… The thing he ran away from.

What about his previous life? Well, he didn’t really think about that anymore. As soon as he arrived in Köln he sent a letter to his parents explaining his sudden disappearing. Ruki also bought a postcard in every place he went to (and with Kai, Lisa and Adam he had some fine trips around Germany and France) and sent them to Reita with meaningless sentences scribbled on them such as “It’s raining here” or “Had a haircut”. Ruki was slowly forgetting his Tokyo life, focusing on present time. It’s not that somebody was looking for him. He was grown-up man after all.

Even if Ruki didn’t purposely think about Reita, his mind played tricks on him sometimes. Especially when the couple he was living with did their couple things. His stomach turned upside down when Kai was stealing a kiss from Lisa. Ruki felt nauseous watching Kai making breakfast and carrying it to the bedroom every Sunday. Even when both of them were fighting over something Ruki had that weird lump forming in his throat. Lying in the bed at night and listening to the saucy noises coming from the closest room was the worst though. Sometimes he felt lonely to that point where he just took out his cock and masturbated imagining both – pair fucking behind the wall and Reita.

 

***

 

Ruki took off his coffee shop boy outfit which he worked in and changed in his black leather leggings and red checked long shirt. He closed the locker and went to the manager of this shift to tell him he is going home. Manager thanked Ruki for great work and wished him to have a nice free Saturday. With that Ruki was sent free. Ruki waved and smiled at his co-workers as goodbye.  
Taking advantage of nice chilly autumn weather Ruki decided on walking all the way to home. He wondered what should he make for dinner tonight. Adam was staying over at his friend’s house so Ruki didn’t have to worry about meal being suitable for a child and could go wild with flavors. Having that in mind he visited his favorite shop and bought everything he needed to make fried salmon with mango chutney and sweet potato French fries.

When he finally opened the door to the apartment unexpected quietness meet him. He was sure both Kai and Lisa were supposed to end their work before him so he thought pair would already be home. Ruki didn’t think about that much, just placed grocery bags on the shelf in corridor, took off his coat and neatly placed his shoes in the third box.

Ruki was in quite a good mood so humming quietly some popular song from the radio he vigorously walked through the corridor.

When suddenly he was thrown on the nearest wall and plastered to it by heavy body behind him. Before he realized what was happening his hands were tied together behind him with some kind of rope. Ruki started screaming for help when person pushing him to the wall didn’t let go of him. Immediately strong big hand was placed on Ruki’s mouth making him even more scared. His instincts told him to try to wriggle out of the grip but that person was much stronger than Ruki. He felt adrenaline rush through his veins. How he could be so stupid. He should have noticed something was wrong. This was probably some psychopath who broke into Kai’s apartment and intended to kill Ruki for fun. He didn’t stop screaming even though he was successfully muffled. Back in his mind he prayed he was the first one and whole Yutaka family was safe and sound.

Suddenly assaulter’s second hand wandered on Ruki’s back then down on his ass. This made Ruki even more terrified. Tears started streaming down his face. Not only he will be killed but also raped. Ruki abruptly stopped moving and screaming when he felt that hand force it’s way between his legs finding a perfect way of groping Ruki’s groin.

“Shh, quiet.” The assaulter’s voice was hoarse and low. But it seemed to ring a bell somewhere in Ruki’s mind. “Be quiet and don’t move. Then we will negotiate.”

Ruki froze with the realization who was the owner of that voice. A hand rubbing his crotch wasn’t helping on gathering himself together. “Kai?”

“Shh, yes it’s me. Don’t be scared. I don’t want to hurt you. I have an offer for you. Would you like to join me and my wife in one of ours sex sessions?” Kai whispered in Ruki’s ear. And all Ruki wished was to somebody to come and pinch him, proving him this wasn’t a dream. Pain from the rope around his wrists and his high heart ratio weren’t enough. “It will be fun. It will be more fun than masturbating alone to our noises. The walls are thin here Ruki. We have also heard you.”

“What? I would never” Ruki denied and felt blood coming to his cheeks. Unfortunately cheeks weren’t the only place blood was gathering right now. After Kai revealing himself, Ruki felt a little bit calmer he wasn’t going to be brutally murdered. And pleasure from the stimulation had certain effects.

“It’s okay. We are not mad. We just talked things through and decided on dragging you into that. But I do not want to force you to do anything. Even though it would be a shame. Your cock is already reacting to my hand properly” Kai laughedand licked Ruki’s ear. “I am not a rapist. I will let you decide. No pressure. Your safe word for this night will be 《sparrow》. Now I will count to twenty. That is your time to safe word out of this. Otherwise I will assume you are willing to have a threesome with a kinky twist on it.”

“One..”

Kai’s hand slipped out from between Ruki’s legs and Ruki unconsciously let out a disappointed mewl. While still holding Ruki down plastered to the wall Kai kept on counting not really realizing what a war was going through Ruki’s mind.

“Thirteen..”

A threesome? Well the thought was extremely hot. Kai was absolutely handsome, his wife beautiful. Ruki was after all bisexual. Moreover Ruki would lie saying he had never imagined that but it used to be just quick, meaningless thought. But now while being given a chance… To experience Kai as a dom… But at the back of his mind was that red light flashing, telling him if he agrees, he will do something extremely wrong.

“Nineteen…”

Ruki opened his mouth to say the safe word but before that he looked down and saw the bulge in his trousers. He was definitely half hard right now. And he decided. Fuck it. For once he could rely on his dick more than on his brain.

“Twenty.”

“I agree” Ruki admitted making Kai grin.

“What is your safe word for this night?” asked Kai in his low voice.

“Sparrow.”

“Good boy” praised him Kai. “I think I should check on your health before bringing you to the bedroom. I’m a doctor, remember?”

Ruki felt a hand slipping under his leather leggings. “Oh my god” he gasped as his cock twitched under Kai’s palm.

“Oh, I will take you closer to god. Or the devil. You decide” Kai laughed out loud. His hand felt the younger’s dick with his palm. “No underwear… Mmm, kinky. My first diagnosis is healthy male in his mid-twenties. Apparently did not have a thorough fucking for a while. Reacting so quickly and cutely to my touch. But I guess further examination will be needed. I might need you to feel you from the inside.”

Before Ruki could reply to that he felt Kai’s hand disappear from his pants and he was now pushed by the doctor toward the bedroom. He complied and slowly, step by step, breathing heavily was guided to the room.

Ruki wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see but wonderful naked body of Lisa sprawled on the bed, her every limp tied to different leg of the bed, her stunning pale skin contrasting with black sheet, red ball gag in between these two rose lips and that shiny butt plug glistening between her legs... Damn, that was just breathtaking. Ruki noticed something on Lisa’s stomach. It must have been semen. That meant he was at least one round behind. Quiet moan escaped Ruki’s mouth just on thought of that.

Suddenly his shirt was ripped violently by Kai. Buttons falling on the floor felt like an explosion in that quietness around them. Then his leggings were pulled down to his ankles. His almost fully hard dick sprung out slapping his stomach with a wet plop. Ruki’s cheeks turned red from embarrassment “Do you like what you see?” Kai’s low voice scattered the silence. Lisa obviously not able to verbally answer simply nodded. Meanwhile Kai’s hand wandered around on Ruki’s ass. He kissed Ruki’s cheek laughing a little bit at fact how warm and red they were. “Yeah, the view from here is not bad either.”

“Step out of your pants” Kai ordered and watched Ruki do some shifting. Loosing his leather leggings without any help from his hand was quite a challenge. But somehow Ruki managed to do that, spoiling Kai with delicious sight of his wriggling ass.

When Ruki was completely naked, only dark rope decorating his wrists on his back, Kai softly pushed him towards the bed. “Kneel between her legs” Kai watched Ruki do as he told him. When Ruki finally was in the right position Kai violently grabbed his neck and bend it to the angle that allowed Ruki only look between Lisa’s legs. “See? See how wet is she for you? For me? For both of us” Ruki swallowed loudly just before his face was basically touching Lisa’s pussy. “Dig in. C’mon don’t be shy.”

Ruki not really used to having oral sex with woman hesitantly sticked out his tongue and licked the pink flesh before him. There was an immediate response in Lisa’s body. Not only muffled moan but also a twitch of her thighs muscles. Letting Lisa’s body guard him, Ruki was changing the angle and intensity of his licks.  
Kai’s hands weighted Ruki’s balls and then thick fingers slid up and down his cleft. That caused and instant moan delivered on Kai’s wife pussy, which was the reason of her muffled scream. Kai seeing the nearing orgasm of her wife decided on denying her pleasure for the second time tonight. “Stop it Ruki.”

But Ruki was too emerged now in the wonderful umami taste feeding his taste buds with strange sensations. Abrupt pull on his hair ripped the pleasure out of his brain with sudden wave of pain. It was Kai hand pulling him up by his hair. Ruki mewled loudly when Kai bended his neck in unnatural way and forced his mouth open with rough pull on his jaw. Then Kai invaded Ruki’s mouth with his tongue. It wasn’t a kiss it was rather tasting the inside of his mouth. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lisa harshly pulling on the bounds and convulsing. Kai let go of Ruki’s jaw and stopped abusing his mouth. He gently put his hand around Ruki’s throat. That only made Ruki’s heart beat ten times faster. All the excitement cumulated in his throbbing erection.

“See her trying to find any friction? Anything to cum?” Ruki nodded, quite surprised Kai’s words still got to his brain despite all the sounds of pumping blood inside his ears. “When you deny someone’s pleasure he ends up appreciating it more next time when he receives it.”

After releasing younger’s throat Kai lazily stroked Ruki’s cock few times just to abruptly stop and unexpectedly push his lubed index finger in Ruki’s entrance. The result of both of these actions where incoherent whispering broken by loud gasps and screams from time to time. Feeling second finger trying to slip inside his body Ruki overwhelmed collapsed on the bed and spread his legs to provide as much access to his asshole as he could. He just needed to feel more. Ruki’s neglected cock meeting with cold surface of the sheet felt like heaven. All the desperation in his action was caused by this goddamn rope keeping his wrists together and third finger slowly stretching his butthole muscles.

Kai’s fingers lightly brushed Ruki’s prostate. And that was all he got before all the fingers were removed from his ass. He was left for a few seconds panting heavily trying to tell the difference between the pain and pleasure of the denial.

“Nnngh… so good” suddenly Ruki felt condom being pulled on his dick and he let out a quiet sob from the minimal touch on his member. He was then once again pulled up by his hair. “Fuck her. Make her feel good for me and I will make you feel good.”

It definitely wasn’t a question. Kai helped to position Ruki’s erection in front of Lisa’s pussy. He waited for Ruki to slowly enter. He laughed out loud when Ruki stilled taken over with that sweet pleasure. Kai was absolutely conscious about how wonderfully tight was his wife’s pussy thanks to that diamond butt plug. It must have felt amazing. But Kai was about to experience something as wonderful. Soon he was kneeling behind Ruki and steadily pushing his throbbing dick inside his younger friend.

After achieving that perfect threesome position Kai begun to move his hips, stimulating insides of Ruki’s bottom. Every thrust forced Ruki to move inside Lisa’s body. And soon the bedroom turned into one big mess of sounds of violent slapping bodies against each other, mix of moans, screams, heavy breathing and scent of sweat.

It didn’t took long for their moves to became erratic and desperate. Soon Ruki was screaming, releasing inside Lisa’s body and collapsing miserably on her chest. Not long after that he felt almost at the same time erratic spasms of Lisa’s muscles and hot semen flowing out of his asshole.

It was definitely worth it. Ruki hasn’t feel such a bliss for a really long time. When he was still trying to put himself together after this mind-blowing experience, his butt was wiped and his hands freed. Then he was turned on his back and gently dirty condom was taken off his dick. Next thing Kai was doing was untying Lisa and removing the gag from her mouth.

“Damn I got off pretty hard” Lisa said in hoarse voice.

“Yeah. Me too” Ruki admitted still trying to steady his breath.

Kai walked out of the room just to be back in few seconds carrying two cups of water and huge fluffy blanked. He handed both of them water and covered them with a blanket. “Are you guys okay?” he asked and Ruki felt true concern in that voice. Both Ruki and Lisa nodded.

“Take your time, both of you. Ruki, I would like to apologize. We should have talked that through with you, ask you if you wanted to participate in our twisted addiction. I must have creeped you out earlier. Feel free to be mad.” Kai was now sitting next to Ruki, wiping his face with a cold damp towel. “We didn’t discuss boundaries and all. Very inconsiderate of us. But it was so goddamn tempting…”

“And don’t worry Ruki, things won’t get awkward between us, okay? It was just sex. It changes nothing. And won’t happen again” reassured him Lisa.

“A shame…”

“You see? I’ve told you he would like that” Lisa laughed and smiled at Ruki. “We can do that again, you know. If you want to.”

“Okay, okay honey give him some time to think” cut Lisa’s talking Kai. “I bet you want a smoke after such a overwhelming session, huh.”

Kai lit a cigarette and passed it to Ruki, then took out an ashtray and placed it in the middle of the bed. Then he lit another one and smoked it together with his wife, with his head rested on her stomach and legs pressed next to Ruki’s thighs. In a while bedroom turned into foggy cloud.

“Do you need something?” turned his gaze on Ruki Kai after finishing second cigarette.

“Not moving is absolutely fine” Ruki admitted. “Glad I have a day off tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah, your poor ass must be hurting after such a good fuck, huh?” Kai laughed and immediately was swatted on the forehead by his wife.

“You are only getting older and more stupid. Who do you think you are? Best fuck on the Earth?” Lisa sighed.

“In this galaxy, yeah” corrected Kai. “Although I gotta admit Ruki is aa good one as well. I mean he has that innocence in him, doesn’t he darling?”

“Totally, watching his cheeks turn pink was delicious” Lisa admitted.

“Guys I am here. And I can hear you” Ruki reminded, grinning.

“Yep but we are only discussing on your diagnosis” Kai winked.

“Oh really? And what is it?” Ruki wondered.

“26 old, healthy cute male with a tight ass” the doctor stated confidently.

“If you do such a research to say obvious things I absolutely have no idea why you still have the right to be a doctor” Ruki laughed and soon Lisa and Kai joined him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll take you for a ride~  
> On my garbage truck~  
> Oh, noooooooo  
> I'll take you to the dump~
> 
> I bet I made yall hungry for some salmon with sweet potato french fries  
> Hm hm  
> And Ruki in leather leggings bet yall hungry for that too
> 
> I dont know either
> 
> Sorry
> 
> Now let me get into my garbage truck, take it to the dump and dump it dump it


	5. You can call me monster

Ruki woke up around 1 PM. The jetlag was still haunting him. There was nothing to be surprised about after all the difference between Los Angeles and Tokyo? Huge. He even had that feeling of waking up in stranger’s bed. Ruki stretched and yawned loudly. He was so delighted to wake up in a place he missed so much. It didn’t took him long to remember what happened yesterday, though. And immediately all the happiness disappeared.

It’s not that he wanted to leave the bed. Frankly speaking if only he could, he would have stayed there forever. But there is one thing he couldn’t control and it was his stomach. Loud rambling coming from his tummy made him realize he did not have a proper meal for two days. Somehow he managed to order his limbs to carry his absent mind to kitchen.

The first thing that caught his eye was a little orange sticky note on the kitchen counter. He suddenly fully woke up and grabbed it to read the scribbles.

“ _I shouldn’t have hit you yesterday. Treat yourself with a lunch that’s in the fridge.”_

At this point Ruki seriously couldn’t tell if the burning pain in his stomach was caused by the still fresh memory of two hard slaps on his cheek or maybe by the overwhelming hunger. The coldness of this note was something he couldn’t bear. Reita didn’t even apologize. Well, in Ruki’s memory Reita had always had problems with saying the magical word. Or maybe Ruki was stupid for expecting an apology for something he deserved to receive. Even though it didn’t feel right and real for Reita to hit him.

 He stick the note back on the counter and opened the fridge. Ruki was absolutely sure this would be just some pasta from yesterday. But his jaw dropped when he saw a freshly made bento box. Unconsciously he started smiling. That meant Reita really thought about Ruki while making it. When he opened the box he realized Reita couldn’t have considered Ruki while making that. Strawberries? Ruki hated them. At this point he wondered if Reita did that on purpose as some kind of revenge.

Nonetheless Ruki couldn’t eat strawberries so he decided to throw the pancakes away. When he was emptying the box into bin he noticed two crushed sticky notes in the bin. They looked the same as the one he found on the kitchen counter. Not hesitating much Ruki grabbed pieces of paper from the bin, straightened them out and read what was carelessly scribbled on them.

“ ~~I am sorry I hit you. I made you lunch. Welcome ba”~~ said the first one. And only with these three sentences, even though one of them wasn’t finished made Ruki’s whole day. He didn’t even care what was on the second note. All that mattered was the fact Reita didn’t hate him no matter how much he tried to cover that. Ruki was happy he didn’t throw all pancakes. Vision of eating strawberries wasn’t that scary. He learned that food was made with care, nothing else was important.

With a plate filled with pancakes Ruki sat on the couch. He thought it would be nice to read something while eating. He eyed the living room and noticed a big photo book on the shelf. This could definitely give him some significant information about what Reita has been up to. The first page he opened was full of pictures of Reita with that new boyfriend Uruha. Ruki’s stomach twisted but he overcome that and tried to be happy with the fact Reita was happy.

Two pages later his felt a huge clamp forming in his throat. That was definitely Reita’s sister in the picture carrying a baby. She must have been lucky enough to give birth to second child. And Ruki didn’t even had a chance to congratulate her. She used to be so supportive of him and Reita. How long it could be since she had the second child… Ruki searched for the date on the picture. He didn’t find one but next to it was a little note with a certain day written on it. Almost two years ago. Suddenly Ruki felt extremely awful. Seeing that little child he felt nauseous. 

It was the matter of next minutes when he was rummaging through drawers in the living room to find a notebook with all the numbers he knew Reita kept somewhere. And so he found one. Quickly he flipped the pages, found the string of digits he was looking for and wrote them on his iPhone. But he hesitated for a good five minutes. He couldn’t just call someone out of blue and creep out with congratulations for a child that was born two years ago.

Even though it seemed totally crazy, soon he was dialing Reita’s sister phone. He wasn’t sure if he had something to say to her particularly. Suddenly a gentle voice could be heard in his phone speaker.

“Hello?”

“H-Hello. Congratulations on having your second child” said hesitantly Ruki. His ears met a heavy awkward silence. It lasted about thirty seconds. The most guilty thirty seconds in Ruki’s life. He used to have such a good contact with Reita’s sister and her son. He was one of the most intelligent kids he had meet in his life. Probably ninety nine percent of the population said so about their nephews but Ruki was sure that boy would go far in his life.

“What?”  broke the silence voice of Yumko.

“I just wanted to congratulate on your second child” clearly stated Ruki.

“ I gave birth to my second child two years ago. Who are you?” Yumiko asked confused.

“Promise me you won’t hang up when you hear my name. I need to talk to you” voiced his question Ruki. “Please.”

“As long as you are not a creeper that wants to broke In my house and hurt my kids I won’t hang up” assured Reita’s sister.

“Ruki on the other side. Do you remember me?” asked Ruki with a lot of melancholy in his voice.

“Ruki? “ few seconds of silence followed that question. “Where are you calling from?”

“Um.. I am in Reita’s apartment” answered Ruki.

“Where? What are you doing there?!” suddenly there was a serious bit of anger coming from his phone speaker. “Ruki listen I don’t know what do you want from Reita but please do not meet him and do not wake up all these memories in him. You do not know but he’s been through a lot for this four years. Leave him alone.”

„Well… Yumiko I have to admit I had met him already” said Ruki honestly. “I wonder. I know it will sound like I’m asking for too much. But could you perhaps meet me tomorrow?”

A really long silence and couple of loud sighs followed that question. “Why? What do you want from me?”. In Ruki’s eyes this sounded like an attack he didn’t deserve. He obviously did not wanted to do anything bad to Reita’s sister. All he wanted was some trivia about Reita’s life for these past four years.

“I just want to know how Reita was doing lately” said uncertainly Ruki. “That’s all.”

“Okay. I will meet you” Yumiko seemed really annoyed. “I will meet you just to warn you to leave my brother alone. To let him live his own life. Tomorrow. At 3 PM in Kitty Coffee. You will have an hour of my precious time. I don’t even know how you don’t feel ashamed to call me like that”  soon after these words Ruki heard beeping announcing Yumiko must have ended the call. Ruki wrote down the place and an hour Yumiko suggested. This could be his door to meet current Reita.

He spent couple of minutes flipping through Reita’s photo book, memorizing the most important happenings in Reita’s life. Besides happy pictures from amusements parks, funny frames from the birthday of his nephews or hilarious pictures with his co-workers there was nothing unusual about the pictures. Reita must have been doing alright without Ruki. This kind of left the stingy taste on Ruki’s tongue because he kind of hope he could be the hero that would rescue Reita from sadness about Ruki’s absence.

But it turned out the hero who saved Reita was his new boyfriend – Uruha.

Because of putting on his shoulders the emotional weight of such an amount of pictures of happy casual Reita, Ruki really felt the urge to smoke. He still had a whole pack of Marlboro Lights in his room. All he needed though was an ashtray. He wondered if it could be possible for Reita not to throw out the present he made for Ruki on their second anniversary – cute bunny ashtray handmade out of clay. Ruki rummaged through shelves in the kitchen and he found what he has been looking for. Funny looking bowl with ears was hiding behind all of the glasses.

Ruki could remember it as if it was yesterday. Second anniversary. They spent it in Reita’s hometown lazily sunbathing on the beach. He could straightforwardly recall the memory of Reita taking  out ugly wrapped item and handing it to Ruki without a word. Ruki shivered just on the thought of the excitement he felt while tearing the wrapper and finding a cute handmade bunny ashtray. It made him laugh at first because of the way it looked and Reita got upset because of that reaction. But that just added something memorable to that surprise. Ruki remembered he had literally thrown himself on Reita and thanked him cheerfully.

Ruki spent next hours looking through the photo book over and over, imagining himself in the place of Uruha and melancholically smoking cigarettes.

Not long after 5 PM Reita arrived at the door, carrying his stylish briefcase and wearing well-fitted smart casual clothes. Ruki couldn’t say seeing Reita like that didn’t wake up the hungry monster inside him. The beast was silenced with the way Reita treated him, though.

As soon as he walked into the apartment, without saying plain “hello”  to Ruki, neither making any signs he even saw Ruki on the couch, Reita entered the living room, grabbed the ashtray and threw it into the garbage bin. The sound of breaking clay felt like the sound of Ruki’s heart breaking. Ruki couldn’t believe Reita did that on his eyes.

“Smoking is not allowed in this house” cut the silence Reita and turned his face to the fridge, took out some yesterdays’ leftovers and a beer.

A beer? Ruki silently wondered since when Reita was drinking beer on daily basis. In his mind Reita remained as that guy who couldn’t handle alcohol well and therefore avoided it.

Reita opened the can of beer and emptied half of it with one sip. Then he grabbed his phone and dialed someone’s number quickly. “Hey, bro! Are you doing anything tonight?”

Ruki suspiciously looked at Reita, waiting for him to spare even a one quick look at him.

“Then let’s grab a beer together at our favourite pub, okay? I just can’t stand the thought of being here alone with him” said Reita, his voice suddenly really annoyed.

Ruki contemplated why the hell Reita was talking about him like he weren’t there. He must have been doing that on purpose.

“Hey! I am here and I can hear everything” finally opened his mouth Ruki.

Reita’s face immediately turned in disgusted grimace. He drank some more beer “You can always walk out of there. I would prefer not to breathe in the same oxygen you do anyway.”

Now Ruki wasn’t expecting that kind of words. He wasn’t sure how he managed to hold back tears but he turned on his heel and went to the guest room. He locked the door and threw himself on the bed. Ruki felt so nauseous he thought he could die.

It wasn’t long when he heard Reita walking out of the apartment. That was all he needed to start screaming loudly in the pillow in despair. He couldn’t believe it was happening for real. It just didn’t feel right.

Xxx

Ruki must have passed out due to exhaustion. But suddenly he was violently woken up by loud banging on the door. He felt terrified. Immediately Ruki jumped out of the bed and plastered his ear to the door. Could it be it was Reita? Even if it was him, why on Earth was he trying to fist through  his door.

“Are you there?” screamed the person behind the door. Ruki couldn’t believe it was Reita. The voice sounded overly drunk and hoarse. “I know you are there!”

Ruki didn’t dare to speak. He was scared letting out even a small voice.

“What? Are you trying to hide from me once again?!” shouted Reita.

“I am scared of you” whispered Ruki. He knew Reita couldn’t hear him.

“How felt whoring around?” asked Reita. “I wonder how it felt to be a slut” the hard bang arrived on the wood. “How do I know? Do you think I am stupid? How else could you afford all that travelling other than taking it up your ass?”

Ruki stared blankly. He couldn’t believe his ears. That wasn’t happening. He placed his palm on the door trying to magically feel through the wood if it really was Reita.

“Answer me you whore” Reita once again heavily slapped the barrier between him and Ruki. “Did you have fun? Was it all worth it? Why the fuck do you want to destroy me completely? What do you really want? Take everything that is precious to me once again?!”

“Reita stop!” shouted Ruki in a broken voice. Tears started streaming down his face. “You are not yourself Reita!”

“Oh I am. I am myself. This is what I have become. I am the monster you have created. I am the broken little shit that was born because of you. Accept it already” these shouted out words followed a cruel piercing laughter.

Suddenly the banging stopped and all Ruki could hear were slow steps and the sound of a body landing on a couch.

“Reita…” Ruki collapsed under the door. Shivers, dizziness and tears overwhelmed him. He curled up still trying to hear anything from the living room.

Ruki really hoped the silence and darkness would devour him. All the happiness of one note found in garbage bin that gave him hope Reita didn’t hate him overlapped with fresh voice yelling “Answer me whore”

Over.

And over.

And over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I hopped on my garbage truck and drove my ass to the University where i am crying while cramming anatomy bullshit.  
> Sooo don't expect next chapters soon. 
> 
> Now just let me rot away into anatomy books and whipe my tears with histology because clearly Ki-chan doesn't deserve the treatment Reita is giving him.  
> Or does he.  
> Idk.


	6. Even got lost in this world

Ruki walked to the dining table and placed a thick envelope before Kai. Kai didn’t even notice that, too busy screening the newest issue of some medical magazine. He was wearing his perfectly fitted glasses that made him look so serious only few would believe that person could actually laugh like a child for hours at stupid jokes, perfidiously showing that one shallow dimple on his left cheek.

“Espresso or lungo?” asked Ruki while opening the drawer to take out some coffee beans. After all he was a barista now, no way he would let Kai’s family enjoy instant crap. He wasn’t cruel.

“Cappuccino, please” said Kai and raised his eyes just to see Ruki’s confused face. “I had a pretty good rest, hey. I know it is Monday but nothing overwhelming in my schedule today. Moreover, soon my week of vacation starts, remember? Pretty sure you planned to take some time off with us.”

Ruki poured some coffee beans into the grinder and waited for it to do its job, watching little brown sprinkles landing in cup filter he held under the machine. He let his thoughts drift off a bit, wondering if he should go on the last vacation with Kai’s family. Ruki couldn’t weigh all pros and cons because grinder ended its work and left both him and Kai with awkward silence. That didn’t really happened yet in all days he spent in Kai’s house. “I like that you feel the need to explain yourself to me” Ruki tried to avoid the topic of vacation.

“I got quite used to you, you know” chuckled Kai and put his magazine aside. He watched the younger guy professionally bang the filter holder on the counter and placing it under the showerhead. Soon after the distinctive sound of pressure being applied to the cup filter a thin string of brown liquid started coming from the coffee machine, filling the cup underneath it. It didn’t took long for the wonderful smell of fresh coffee to hit Kai’s nostrils. Ruki did not pay much attention to the scent, nimbly opening the fridge with his elbow and taking out a carton of milk. He quickly poured it into a mug and shoved in the microwave. Blonde took a sip from his favourite Winnie the Pooh cup and quickly threw away the grounds just to reload the filter. “I decided we should definitely show you Berlin. No idea how we missed that place in our schedule” sighed Kai.

Ruki pressed the button on the coffee machine to make it pour another espresso in a glass. Soon the microwave beeped so he took out the mug, quickly poured milk to little metal jug and started frothing it. Barista zoned out a bit, therefore letting too much air into the foam. When he realized that he mumbled some nasty words. But it wasn’t that it was a big deal. Ruki professionally swirled the milk in few gentle gestures. Thanks to that foam was perfectly in the middle of the jug. Soon the liquid was poured in a fancy way to create little white heart on top of three leaves.

“Here you go” Ruki placed the cup on the table before Kai and came back to kitchen to take his own coffee and oatmeal Lisa happened to prepare for him.

“Just normal cappuccino would be fine, you really shouldn’t have had to bother yourself with being all professional” Kai took a sip from his cup, watching as Ruki took the place next to him. “As always, delicious! Buono! Eccellente!” he raised his hand formed into OK gesture to his lips and kissed it few times while making a weird facial expression. Was that his impression of an Italian men or something? Well, whatever Kai was trying to achieve made Ruki giggle.

“Quit it old man! Just enjoy it!” managed to squeeze out of his throat Ruki because of the oatmeal in his mouth.

“No fun allowed at my age” sighed Kai sounding far too upset. He lowered his gaze and finally noticed the envelope before him. Kai didn’t even look inside, he just slided it with his index finger to Ruki.

Ruki cocked an eyebrow in confusion. “But that’s meant for you. It’s time for monthly…”

“Keep that.”

“Kai you know I can’t. This is a part of our arrangement. Did you forget? Just take that.”

“I said keep them” Kai sent a deadly serious stare at younger guy with his wise brown eyes. “You think I don’t know why this envelope is much thicker than previous ones? Come on Ruki. I am not an idiot. I noticed everything. I must admit you did a great job on hiding some of the moves. I’m sure Lisa and Adam still are completely unaware of your plans.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about” Ruki still insisted but took the envelope, deciding fighting about that is not worth the fuss. He dug in the rest to of the oatmeal quietly watching Kai.

Doctor immediately noticed how worried Ruki looked and sent him the most gentle smile he could. Kai placed his wide hand on younger’s shoulder and patted it few times in quiet understanding. His brown eyes full of concern and thankfulness were peeking from between crow’s feet that probably were caused by too much time spent flipping pages of books. And Ruki was really glad of that look.

He was thankful Kai didn’t expect any explanations, any apologies. When it came to expressing his feelings Ruki was absolutely hopeless. Even though his brain was now full of thoughts words just wasn’t coming out from his mouth. None of them felt wholesome and meaningful. After all vows were spoken to be broken, weren’t they? That’s why Ruki prefered being around people who understood him without words. The way Kai wisely nodded and smiled at him reminded him about the only person he didn’t feel stupid and awkward for being a human flop at some times.

Despite his strong will trying not to call that person’s name, instantaneously a well-built figure showed up in his mind. That blonde person was leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed on his torso, showing that snappish smile and cocking one eyebrow. That was his only reaction when Ruki screw something up. No anger, just a little bit of disappointment and a huge dose of teasing. He would never expect Ruki to spill out an apology when the argument was serious. Ruki’s shallow stressed breaths against blonde’s chest accompanied with barely audible sobs and salty tears streaming down meant much more than overthought mouthed remorse. And he would never push Ruki away. He would embrace him, press his head harder to the torso and gently kiss the tip of Ruki’s head.

A rough ruffle on Ruki’s head shook him off from the daze. He realized his head was hanging so low his bangs almost ended up in the empty bowl before him. Moreover he suddenly noticed how watery his eyes were. Ruki quickly blinked away the tears before straightening up and turning his gaze on Kai who currently was putting his dirty cup in the dishwasher.

“We are leaving on Friday, remember” Kai closed the machine and run his hand through his hair. “Want me to give you a lift to the coffee shop?”

“If you insist…”

 

x x x

“I want to meet someone from Japan” Adam was being overexcited about the trip to Berlin, constantly reminding about his presence in the backseat. “Mum, Ruki-sensei taught me so good I think I am ready to talk with someone from Japan! Please Dad, can we meet someone from Japan?”

“You can’t just go and force people to talk with you, you know that Adam” Kai laughed at his son. He dared to ignore the road for a second and look in the rear-view mirror to see Adam’s pouting face. “Hey no pouting in the backseat! We are going on a trip to forget a little about bad feelings, remember?”

“Okaaay Daaaad....” sighed Adam.

“To make the road pass quicker maybe we should play our game ‘What’s on my mind’ huh?” asked Lisa pretty amused by his whiny son. She knew Adam was not the type to handle long car rides very well. “Oh you know what, maybe we could ask Ruki to translate them for you so you would learn some new vocabulary?”

“Ruki-sensei would you do that? Please, please, please!” begged little boy and threw his hands in the air happily when a short nod came from Ruki as the answer.

Ruki was now partly listening to Yutaka family members taking turns in describing something that was on their mind when the others tried to guess it. But most of his mind was troubled with the whole trip. Ruki was nervously shaking his right leg while thinking about how much he enjoyed the domestic feeling Kai and his family let him experience. Part of the nervousness was caused by the anxiety of what could happen next to his life. Blond haired wasn’t stupid. He knew he was somehow lucky enough to meet Adam on his former way to Koln but it couldn’t have been that he would continue to be that fortunate.  
Ruki also knew he could stay. Kai wouldn’t mind that. He was sure Adam and Lisa wouldn’t complain either. But that well-known feeling of belonging that started to form in his consciousness scared him. Ruki was aware it was time to leave. Because one more month and he wouldn’t be able to ever leave. And that... That would destroy the whole purpose he left Japan.

There were so many people the meet, so many places to see. Ruki just wanted to know who he was. To push the hard limits and put himself in as many different situations as he could. For this year living in Koln he surely learnt many things about himself. That he was a good tutor, he was not that much of a flop at learning new things and that he was actually much more kinkier that he thought he was. But Ruki was sure there was much more to seek inside him.  
And the time of his life was running out.

“Let’s do some tongue twisters!” proposed Adam when he was fed up with guessing game.

“What about testing Ruki’s German?” Kai laughed and banged few times with his fingers on the steering wheel. “Try saying Haifischschwanzflossenfleischsuppe.”

“Eh? What?” that word shook Ruki’s deep thought off his mind. “That’s not even a word!”

“It is! I will divide it for you slowly. Hai-fisch-schwanz-flossen-fleisch-suppe”

“Haifischschwanzfnogs... I can’t.” Sighed Ruki disappointed while all of the other people in the car bursted out laughing. Suddenly he remembered a good simple Japanese one he tried with Reita and called him blue idiot for doubting his skills. “Yeah yeah laugh at me you morons. Now try saying aka-abokado ki-abokado ao-abokado. Three times. Quickly.”

“Aka abokado, ki abokado, ao abokado. Aka abobabo, ki abokido... Damn it!” laughed out Kai and the whole car echoed him.

x x x

 

Ruki was walking between the concrete blocks, shivers running down his spine. There was something ominous about these narrow corridors. He closed his eyes and let his other senses guide him between the slabs. The concrete felt harsh underneath his fingertips. In his mind there were pictures of hungry children, piles of dead bodies and scared faces from the museum underneath the installation Ruki visited just a while ago. All these faces contorted in pain came back to him as he kept on walking in that maze. It was almost as if he could hear the screams of hurt from within these blocks. It took his breath away but he kept on walking blindly.

Kai explained to Ruki that this memorial is a concept that wasn’t explained by the artist who made it. He said Peter Eisenmen wanted people to interpret it freely, based on their emotions. Ruki heard most common meanings were either a graveyard or an abandoned empty city. Personally, Ruki felt like it was more of a maze that showed how easy it is to get trapped in a situation without a solution. It was a manifesto that people should not only remember about the death but also learn from the past and acknowledge anyone could be placed in position of all these people if we let things go out of hand.

For a short while he wanted to call all of these people brave but deep inside he knew most of them was terrified not courageous. And despite the fear they managed to keep fighting for every next hour to be alive. Salty tears started streaming down his face. Ruki could not control them. These were a part of katharsis he experienced while walking between those blocks. Ruki suddenly stopped and raised his head up, letting two drops slowly stream down his cheeks. Then he opened his eyes just to see clear blue sky above him. At this point he understood. He understood all of these people were looking at the same sun he was seeing right then. And it was out of his reasoning how it was possible for a human to cause so much pain for other human being. He couldn’t understand what was so stunning about war people kept on starting them through all the history. None of the reasons he was trying to came up with were right enough to justify stripping a person from his human rights. To rip them off the basic chance to admire the blue sky… Ruki couldn’t handle the vision of that.

Finally Ruki lowered his head just to see a curly-haired girl handing him a handkerchief with an understanding smile. He quietly accepted it and bowed down as a sign of respect and gratefulness. The girl striped off her teeth with wider smile. And Ruki couldn’t stop himself from returning the gesture despite tears still flowing steadily out of the corners of his eyes.

And then he figured out that no matter how bad and full of crap humanity might be, there always will be that piece of kindness in every person worth living for.

x x x

“Oh I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” shouted Adam after knocking off ice cream cone of a kid roughly his own age. Unknown girl started crying and tugging sleeve of his father. Adam really looked like he was apologizing honestly. Despite that Kai seemed very disappointed and he sighed deeply on his son because he knew it is something he would have to sort out soon with the father of that girl. But then Adam heard the girl mumble something quietly to the taller man in Japanese. “I am really sorry!” repeated Adam, this time in Japanese, bending his back a little in a small bow.

The girl looked quite surprised when she heard Adam talking in her native language and she didn’t hide the blush on her cheeks. She tried to hide even more efficiently behind her father. Adam did not hesitate though and so he reached his little hand towards shy girl, still being cautiously observed by her father. “My name is Adam. I am sorry for ruining your ice cream. Let me make give mine one you for.”

The girl giggled cutely on the mistakes Adam made in the last sentence. Somehow she reached her hand to quickly shake it with Adam’s one. “My name is Hana. I-I-I forgive you.”

“I am glad. Speak slowly, please. Could I learn more about you?” Adam quickly said and  
Lisa narrowed her eyes and gave a questioning look at Ruki who smiled at the girl and her father. It wasn’t much helpful because Ruki started talking with the guy in Japanese, not bothered the couple wasn’t able to understand them.

“I invited both of them for a coffee and ice cream on me as a compensation for those which ended on the ground. This is Mr. Yamashita and his daughter Haru. He is fine with talking in English, so don’t worry about language barrier. Do you guys know any nice coffee shops around here?” Ruki finally turned his attention towards confused couple.

“We are on the Gendarmenmarkt there must be something, let’s look around or just google it.” Kai answered and focused on the face of a father of girl Adam was currently talking with. Mr. Yamashita had brushed up neat hair and wise eyes. It couldn’t be he was much older than Kai. Actually Kai would bet money he was two or three years younger than him. He was definitely smart-looking. “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Yamashita. My name is Kai and this is my wife Lisa.” Kai reached out his hand to shook Mr. Yamashita’s one meanwhile eyening his son smoothly talking with the Japanese girl.

Soon the six of them were sitting at the fancy table outside coffeeshop digging in some delicious ice cream. They learned Mr. Yamashita graduated University of Tokyo with history major and he was writing a book about German culture during post-war period. His style of chanting was very noble but at any point he wasn’t rude or disrespectful. Mr. Yamashita was in fact really reverential towards Kai and Lisa’s profession. Not long time passed before all four adults were as comfortable with casual chit-chat as were Adam and Haru. Both of them seemed to have genuinely lovely time talking with each other.

“I really like those cathedrals. In Tokyo I don’t think we have that kind of artstyle and I find it really intriguing. How differently cultures developed” wondered Ruki, quite impressed with the buildings.

“Did you know why these two are exact same buildings next to each other?” asked Mr. Yamashita sipping on his cappuccino.

“I can kind of remember from my history lessons it has to do something with France. Am I right?” Lisa seemed to be quite interested in the topic suddenly.

“Yes you are. The cathedral on our right is actually called French Cathedral because it was built in baroque style back in 1705 by French architect. But when the church was completed people started to complain why there is a French church in the middle of German capital so the king that was ruling the country ordered to build a German church right next to it. It ended up as the exact same cathedral ended up in 1708. It is now know as the German Cathedral and it is reflection of the French one. This is how king made his people it didn’t matter where the architect came from, the artstyle is even in all European countries.” explained Mr. Yamashita.

“It can’t be!” laughed out Ruki almost knocking his empty bowl off the table. “This is absolutely ridiculous.”  
“Yeah and there are rumors going around the king ordered to make the tower of German Cathedral a few centimeters higher to emphasize the point that German Empire was actually just a little bit better than French one. That is what makes it more hilarious” Mr. Yamashita laughed sincerely for the first time since the beginning of the conversation.

“Europe is so different from Japan!” summed up Ruki and waved for the waiter to bring the bill. After all they had many more interesting points in their schedule so the coffee break couldn’t last forever. He would gladly exchange e-mail addresses with Mr. Yamashita so that he could perhaps meet him sometime in Tokyo. He called Adam and recommended him doing the same with Haru, so she can become his first official Japanese internet friend.

While he was talking with Adam Kai took out his wallet and slid out one of his credit cards. Before Ruki could make a verbal protest payment was completed. “Hey I said it was on me!”

“You did? Oh what a pity” Kai placed his big palm on Ruki’s shoulder and squeezed it a little bit too harsh for it to be a friendly gesture. “Now it’s on me but I know a special way you could re-pay me tonight.”

Ruki knew exactly what Kai meant. And he would be a liar if he said his groin wasn’t taking interest in that simple suggestion completed with perky smirk on doctor’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to Aoi's ugly reebooks that next chapter will be better I was struggling with this story for so long. I have it all in my mind but the words just weren't coming. I am happy to cough out even these 3k. I am soooooorry it took so long. I just kind of wasn't in the mood for living but I made a promise I will write at least 300 words everyday so.
> 
> It feels weird posting after such a long time lol 
> 
> I meant emptying my garbage truck not posting.


	7. 'Cause I won't take the blame

A warm ray of sunshine hit Ruki’s face and interrupted his sweet unconsciousness. He slowly opened his eyes just to feel an overwhelming discomfort while moving his eyelids. His throat felt extremely dry so he tried to produce some saliva to wash down some of the awful feeling. Not long after that a strong hit of acute headache passed through his nerves. Ruki gently turned on his back and massaged his scalp while staring at the high ceiling. It must have been due to all of those shedded tears at night that he was so dehydrated and sore.

Sunlight reaching his eyes through the window didn’t really help his pain. Ruki slowly slid his naked legs from the bed and walked to the huge window. He intended to close the curtains and go straight to bed but when he grabbed the silky material something forced him to look down. Ruki stared down through the glass at tiny people walking on the sidewalks and cars smoothly letting each other in the line on the streets. Japanese drivers were so much calmer than those in America, Ruki noted. If it was Los Angeles, there would be notorious honking and a bunch of middle fingers appearing in the lowered windows.

Ruki kept on observing the morning life in Tokyo. Unconsciously a petite smile appeared on his face. He realized that cherry trees were in full bloom, nicely complementing the view. There were some couples walking in the park nearby. Ruki’s face immediately turned into a gloomy grimace. He placed his thumb on the window and twisted it few times as if trying to crush the pair. That was clearly more of a mean behaviour of some seven years old spoiled brat playing with ants out of boredom than a thirty years old adult. And Ruki wasn’t doing that because he had nothing to do. It was the jealousy that overtook him.

When couple walked from beneath his finger Ruki let out an annoyed gasp and harshly pulled on the curtain tearing out some clips. He couldn’t be bothered though picking on a quick pace to the bed. After throwing himself on the mattress Ruki grabbed his phone to check the time. “Crap” he cursed out loud when digital displayer showed not only that it was past 12 PM but also a reminder about appointment with Reita’s sister he completely forgot he made. Not thinking much he rushed to the bathroom.

Right before pressing the door handle to go out of the bedroom his hand started trembling and he hesitated. What if Reita was still home. Or worse, he was home and he was still drunk. He couldn’t predict though what Reita were capable of doing if he saw Ruki. Well, expecting a warm “good morning” after what had happened yesterday night would be irrational.

After a short while of hesitation going through his mind Ruki opened the door and walked out as quietly as he could, all his senses on guard. It didn’t took a lot for loud snoring to reach his ears. When he turned his head towards the sound he saw a pair of shoes, leather jacket and pants carelessly lying on the floor. It was a trail leading to the couch in the living room where Reita was sprawled on.

Ruki couldn’t tell if that picture made him feel more worried of terrified. He breathed heavily and rushed into the bathroom. Ruki walked gloomily to the sink to brush his teeth and make something standable to look at from his face. But when he finally looked into the mirror above the basin he realized how exhausted he looked. His bags were the shade of juicy plum. Overall his face looked more like a fifty years old grumpy man than guy in his early thirties. And a little bit of stubble that growed inconveniently in few spots on his chin made it even worse. Yet all he did was splash some water on his face and tied his hair in two man buns. He was just too tired and drained emotionally to care to mask his ugliness.

Soon he fished for his toothbrush from the cup on the shelf above sink, squeezed some toothpaste on it and opened the tap to wet the toothbrush. The sound of flowing water finally broke the ominousity of the room. Ruki realized that for all the years he lived here, there were rare moments when he would be alone in the bathroom while getting ready. That must have been why even a quiet sound of water hitting the sink was much more pleasant than the empty silence. 

Ruki soon was looking at his reflection while moving the toothbrush back and forth in his mouth, thinking hard and trying to spot if there was anything from the past Ruki left in him. Or if he changed diametrically like Reita. Meanwhile a memory appeared in his mind, overtaking his wonderings.

 

_ Ruki rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door open with loud hit. There were approximately forty minutes left before he would have to leave home to work and to be honest he was nowhere near to be ready.  _

_ “Can’t you see I’m pooping?” an annoyed voice broke his panic thoughts. _

_ “Well I can smell it.” Ruki casually walked past blond guy sitting on the toilet with tablet on his lap. “Oh it’s so bad what have you been eating dude.You would just eat and poop, eat and poop all day long. Maybe do something productive sometimes.”  _

_ “I. Am. Taking. A. Dump.” articulated Reita and continued reading the article about new development in artificial intelligence. And he would ignore Ruki brushing his teeth but bastard started spraying his deodorant heavily in Reita’s direction.  _

_ “It stinks like a racoon walked to our bathroom freshly…” _

_ “I am pooping!” screamed Reita not really stopping Ruki from finishing his description.  _

_ “...after taking a bath in two weeks old trash” Ruki kept spraying aerosol and brushing his teeth. _

_ “Can i take a peaceful morning shit without you trying to gas me. Get out.” _

_ “You tried to gas me man!” Ruki spat out the last flush from his mouth and turned on his heel, quickly heading to the exit.  _

_ “Get. Out.” _

_ “Are you blind? Don’t you see I’m leaving?!” roared Ruki at Reita before slamming the door close. And he soon was heading to the kitchen to make both of them bentos, when he heard a loud final scream from bathroom.” _

_ “Finally! Thank you!” _

 

Ruki spat out water from his mouth and watched it slowly disappear in the hole. He wasn’t sure how the memory left him feeling. Living with Reita seemed so natural back then, so perfect. Both of them had no shame, shared no awkwardness. And now Reita has given him “slut” pin. Both images of his beloved one was contorting in his mind, leaving him emotionless and empty. 

When leaving the bathroom a quiet buzzing reached his ears. Momentarily his hand was in the back pocket of his trousers only to notice it wasn’t his phone that was vibrating. Following the sound he soon fished out an iPhone from pocket in Reita’s jacket. Unfortunately the call ended before Ruki could read the name on the displayer. Not thinking much he pressed the button to activate the phone just to see there was twelve missed calls. Could it be Reita got himself in some trouble.

But Ruki wasn’t going to wake Reita up. He didn’t want to deal with that at this moment. There was still stingy pain at the back of his head and moreover he didn’t want to how Reita would react to Ruki doing so. Instead of that Ruki decided to wait until the person would call once again. Obviously Reita’s phone was locked so he couldn’t just call back.

Then an idea passed through his head. Ruki pressed the menu button to turn the screen on, swiped the screen up and after a short hesitation pushed six numbers.

020182

His eyes were as wide as plates when the keyboard on screen turned into a homepage with apps. There was no way. Reita must have had changed his phone over the past four years. So why he hadn’t came up with new password.

He didn’t have time to think about that much because screen showed that someone was calling. Ruki walked quickly to the guest room, closing the door quietly to muffle all the sounds. And then he swiped the green button up just to be greeted with annoyed yell.

“ _ Where on Earth are you nutter?! We have to close the 352 project today and have it presented to new funders! I swear to god Reita if you will not bring your ass over here in thirty minutes I’m going to cut your testicles off.” _

“I… I’m sorry it’s Ruki, Reita’s… acquaintance.” started Ruki hesitantly.

“ _ What? Where is Reita? Something happened?”  _ suddenly the guy who must have been Reita’s co-worker seemed genuinely worried.

“No, no I mean he is fine but yesterday he got himself food poisoned and he suffers from extremely bad stomach ache. And you know he is vomiting since morning. He should have had been considerate enough to call you and call it sick. But believe me you can’t blame him he is really exhausted. The fever he has doesn’t let him think straight.” he hated himself for lying. If there is a one thing he couldn’t stand it was lies. Though somehow there he was making up an excuse for Reita. Why was he doing that in first place for a person who just few hours ago yelled at him and called him nasty names.

“ _ Oh. Okay that’s understandable. Nothing worse from fever and stomach problems” _ sighed the guy. “ _ Tell him not to worry about the project, I will manage on my own somehow. The health comes first, doesn’t it. But he owes me a favor.” _

“Of course I will pass it to him. Thank you very much. Good luck with your project.”

_ "It’s fine. And thank you for letting me know about that, now excuse me I need to get back to work.”  _ a few high pitched tones followed that sentence and Ruki soon ended the call.

Ruki closes his eyes and wondered what he got himself into. Why was he doing that. Reita will probably only get the wrong idea and say that Ruki tried to get him fired anyway. The call happened though, nothing could be done about it.

Now he had a new thing to worry about. How to approach Reita’s sister to get as much information as he can. Thinking about that he quickly changed into fresh clothes then placed Reita’s phone on the shelf in the corridor with a little sticky note on the screen summing up his fake story. Finally he grabbed bunch of spare keys and walked out of the apartment.

 

x x x 

 

Ruki was sitting in the coffee shop Reita’s sister was supposed to mee him. He was now chewing on bagel with cream cheese and poached egg on top of it and he was living for it. The food was delicious, cappuccino he ordered was flawless as well. Ruki even laughed at himself at the back of his head for ordering clearly western food even though he was back in his homeland.

When Ruki let his stare wander around the place he understood why Yumiko choose that place. There was a little corner with toys for kids to play with. Even at that moment few vigorous, cheerful children could be spotted running around.

The surroundings were complimenting the food. He was seated in a small garden in the back of the shop at a wooden table covered in pastel yellow and blue cloth with a metal candlestick on top of it. Moreover all around the place were several pots with blooming flowers. They were placed not only all over the floor but also hanged on a wooden arch above him. The smell of fresh coffee and calming slow-tempo song quietly playing in the background let him relax a little and forget about everything. He regretted the coffee shop didn’t have a fountain installed because he could use some of the calming sound of water.

“Uncle Ruki!” a shout ripped his mind from peaceful wondering and before he could even react and turn his head, a pair of arms closed around his neck. “You’re back!”

When he finally managed to meet eyes with person attacking him with the kindness, he noticed there was a young boy standing next to him. It must have been Reita’s niece. Ruki smiled at the child and ruffled his black hair. “Hey buddy. Nice to see you all grown-up! Why aren’t you at school, huh?”

"I asked my mum to call me sick today, I wanted to meet you so much! Don’t worry about it I promise I will catch up with everything!” the boy was over excited, words coming from his mouth with the speed of light. “I missed you so much uncle. Mum said you were on a crazy trip around the world. You need to meet my sister! You know I have a sister right now? Her name is Yui!”

“I am glad to see you as well” chuckled Ruki. The sight of Yumiko’s son reaction melted his heart a little bit. It was the first time from two days he felt genuinely wanted somewhere. “But you know it’s a really a bad thing to lie, promise me to never do that again, okay?”

“Reo, there you are.” familiar calm voice reached Ruki’s ears and soon on the seat next to him was sitting a woman in her early forties, unstrapping a kid from a stroller. It must have been Yui, Reo’s younger sister. “Now could you be kind enough and take care of your sister while I talk with Ruki?”

“Okay mum.” answered Reo and grabbed hand of his sister, slowly walking her to the corner with toys.

“Hello Ruki” said Yumiko in sharp voice, narrowing her wise eyes. “I won’t say I’m happy to see you because as you probably can tell I am not. I can say I’m glad you are fine.”

“Thank you. I don’t expect anything like that don’t worry. But I must say you didn’t age even a slight bit. You look beautiful, Yumiko. It’s nice to see you happy with two kids, I won’t lie” spoke his heart Ruki and sipped on some coffee.

“Yeah. Reo overheard our conversation and said he wouldn’t go to school for next week unless I take him with me to meet you” sighed Reita’s sister and laid her sight upon her son.

“Is he a troublemaker at school? I mean I remember him being neat and one of the most intelligent in class” asked Ruki honestly worried about Reita’s niece.

“No, he is really smart, brilliant I would say. And no, he doesn’t cause troubles at all. Reo just holds such strong memories with you he refuses not to mention you during family meals from times to times. I won’t lie it gets on my nerves but there is nothing I can do about that. Now enough about me and my family. Let’s talk about you. Where have you been through these years?” asked Yumiko with piercing voice and before Ruki could answer she added “You know what I don’t care where have you been. I am more troubled with why did you come back to Reita’s apartment.”

“My apartment” Ruki tried not to sound rude but Yumiko was getting on his nerves. Why she was acting as if Ruki was planning to do something horrible to Reita. To this moment it was actually Reita who hurt Ruki. Both, emotionally and physically. “I guess I wanted to sort things out. See what Reita has been up to and staff.”

“Makes no sense but I don’t really care about that. Let me state something clearly. Do not screw my brother more than you already did. You have no idea what he has been through after you disappeared. Personally I wouldn’t mind if you would just flee away once again” barked angrily Yumiko making Ruki cringe.

“Reita hit me” said Ruki out of nowhere and he saw Yumiko’s face show some confusion. And maybe a little hint of worry. “He came back home tonight completely drunk and called me some nasty names. I am sure if there wasn’t door between us, he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me.” Ruki saw Yumiko bringing her hand to scalp and massaging it slowly. And the last sentence he spoke ended up as a quiet sob “I just want to know where is my Reita.”

“Oh Ruki. Did you really think when you come back Reita will be the same. After you coldly left him all alone? He’s been through some harsh times. But I believe Reita finally came on a happy path once again with finding himself a new loving boyfriend and changing the environment. I will always be bitter that you locked him in that apartment though. Nice move to keep him on a leash with all of these memories of you haunting his mind.”

“He lied about me to his new boyfriend Yumiko” Ruki said in a broken voice.

“Can you really blame him? Ruki listen to me, when you left him Reita pretended for two years that everything was alright, that you were on a business trip in Europe. And we blindly believed him, not really having a reason not to. But behind closed door Ruki, he’s been going through hell. He devastated himself. Emotionally, physically. It’s none of your business anymore what actually happened but believe me, it twisted him in a painful way. I am only happy he finally found someone to love him for who he really is” said Yumiko with annoyed voice.

“No. That new boyfriend of his. He doesn’t love him for who he really is. Because this is not true Reita, we both know it Yumiko. My Reita would never lie. He would never hit me” Ruki tried to convince her.

“Your Reita. Ruki seriously wake up. Do you think Reita is your toy? That you can leave  for four years without a word because you got bored and come back, dust it off and have fun again? If you think Reita would run to you with open arm after overworking himself for months, hurting everyone around him just to realize he is doing so, so then he can hurt himself… Then you must be stupid.” Yumiko’s words were harsh. “Yes. Yes, Reita’s changed. He got broken. And now there is someone to pick up the mess you have created. You should leave and let both Reita and Uruha be as they are.”

“I did not broke him. I never did anything with bad intentions towards him” Ruki tried to shout but only faint whisper escaped his mouth. “I loved him with my whole heart. It was always his.”

“Oh don’t bring that kind of bullshit Ruki. I’m not going to believe it. In fact I even doubt you even ever had a heart” snorted Yumiko. “And to think I used to consider you the best match for my brother.”

Something with the way Yumiko treated him made Ruki feel so hopeless. As if someone had just locked him in a room where walls tried to crush him. Her words seemed distant and unreal. And even though he didn’t learn much about Reita’s past he learnt enough. It was time for him to leave the coffee shop.

“Excuse me I think I need to go. Tell Reo to always do his best. Thank you for sparing some time on me” Ruki stood up, a hot wave of rage and sadness run through his body.

“Yeah, as always running away” laughed ironically Yumiko. “Just go and please leave my brother alone.”

Ruki not thinking much, left the coffee shop and went straight to his apartment, not sure how he knew the way. It must have been the rage aftertaste from conversation with Reita’s sister that led him.

 

x x x 

 

Ruki opened the door to apartment. He was still both in despair and rage. Probably he wasn’t even able to tell these emotions apart. Ruki announced his comeback with launching keys on the nearest shelf and kicking off the shoes. Just when he was about to open door to the guest room a big hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Hey, Ruki I just…”

“Don’t touch me!” shouted Ruki and pushed Reita’s hand away.

“Calm down, hey” said Reita calmly raising his hands up as a gesture to show the younger one he didn’t want to hurt him or anything. “I just wanted to thank you for saving my ass today.”

“Oh. No, no problem. It was my pleasure to lie for you” Ruki grinned bitterly. “I think I’m slowly starting to become just like you.”

"I never asked you to do that, you know” said confused Reita.

“Well I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t come back deadly drunk in the morning” hissed Ruki looking Reita in the eyes. “By the way, nice phone password you have. I bet your boyfriend wouldn’t guess it since he didn’t even know I existed for like what, two days ago?”

“What password?” asked Reita even more puzzled. But after a while of awkward silence he realized what Ruki meant. “Oh that. I just got used to that number over the years.”

**Lies** .

“So you probably weren’t the one who paid my insurance for last two years, huh?” asked out of blue Ruki, pleased with himself he got Reita cornered. He knew Reita must have been the one who paid his insurance so that he could undergo a surgery in Norway.

“Insurance? What? I didn’t pay anything.”

 **LIES**.

“You are not even going to say sorry for calling me what you called me yesterday or you just genuinely think of me like that. You filthy liar” the rage overtook Ruki completely and he pushed Reita away. But the blond being slightly higher and much more muscular quickly grabbed Ruki’s fragile wrists and raised them up, forcing Ruki to look him in the eyes.

“I never received an apology from you for making me the way I am right now so don’t play a fucking victim here.”

Right after that sentence Ruki’s wrists were let free. He mouthed a quiet “I did nothing”, turned on his heel while massaging his wrists and shut the door closed to the guest room right before Reita’s face.

“Hey, Ruki open the door” was the last sentence he heard before shutting himself completely on the bed, trying to detach himself from the cruel reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I had so much shit going in my life I had no time to write.  
> But new Halsey's album came out 2 days ago and it's awesome so I couldn't deny myself the pleasure of writing.  
> I cant wait for Ruki and Uruha to talk seriously but that needs to wait.
> 
> Also I was thinking so seriously lately about shaving my head (my hair is literally hips long) but I am so scaaaaared of doing so. Ughhhhh.


	8. Offer me that deathless death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean it's basically a smut but not like a smut smut, weird smut.  
> You've been warned.

A quiet knocking echoed in Ruki’s ears while he was lying on the bed in his hotel room, trying to relax a bit after exhausting day of sightseeing. He exhaled slowly and deeply just to shout “It’s open, come in!”. Then he wondered when did he threw his manners out of the window. Carelessly shouting in hotel like that. Unacceptable. But when Ruki saw Kai appearing in the door frame with leather collar strapped to metal chain in his hands and that sheepish smile of his… Ruki exactly knew he would bring more nuisance to hotel guests living nearby. Not that he wasn’t expecting it after the incident in coffee shop.

“Can’t let go of the last chance to use me, huh?” Ruki cocked an eyebrow and slowly got himself up and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Have you ever felt used?” Kai’s voice came out as rather worried and uneasy. Soon the free spot on the bed next to Ruki was taken by Kai. He showed a really anxious look, genuinely distressed by Ruki’s words.

Before responding Ruki checked out Kai from head to toes. This might have been the last time he saw the doctor in his life. Kai was a handsome man, not really his type but generally speaking Kai was definitely good-looking. And that troubled look on his face caused by the amount of care he was giving Ruki... Because of that Ruki’s answer couldn’t be other than “Of course not, I was just playing with you. I think you and your wife were my best chance of experiencing the whole kinky side of pleasure, you know. I was always taken good care of, not only when it came to the sex. The attention after the sessions and the lack of awkwardness between all three of us. I appreciate it all.’ If there was one thing Ruki could swear to, it was the sincerity of these words.

‘I feel accomplished then’ cute smile was momentarily back on Kai’s face. He eyed the room and spotted a stuffed backpack on the dresser and set of clothes hanging on the chair next to it. For a millisecond his expression turned gloomy, just to be replaced by a smirk. ‘So are up for a scene tonight?’

‘Actually yes, I’m up’ Ruki shifted nervously kind of intimidated by the presence of that metal leash lying now in Kai’s lap. He nodded shyly at it and tried to laugh his nervousness off. ‘Want me to be your doggie for a night? I’m not very keen on that.’

‘No, not really. Lisa and I, we are not into pet play. This right here’ Kai jiggled the chain making it clang. ‘It could give me a little bit more of a control of your breathing, posture and position. I know you are definitely a huge breath play guy and you love being ordered to do things. So this is just extention of my hands.’

‘Oh okay that sounds better.’ Ruki exhaled relieved. ‘So what is the plan for tonight? Anything specific?’

‘Well…’ Kai started shifting awkwardly on the bed and avoided Ruki’s curious eyes.

‘Hey, why are you suddenly acting so weird old guy?’ Ruki wondered out loud. ‘You know you can ask me anything we have been here before many times. I can always say no to things you propose, remember?’

‘I know, I know. Moreover Lisa is tied up to the bed pillar in our room waiting for us so I should actually explain it quickly and clearly. So. Besides usual degradation of my wife I would like her to try something she was always turned on by but scared of at the same time. She would like to be fisted anally.’ Kai watched carefully for Ruki’s reaction for this request.

‘And she would be more comfortable with me doing that than you?’ the whole situation was clearly confusing for Ruki. He was familiar with anal fingering but he had no idea how it could work to put his whole fist inside someone and why the doctor asked him particularly to do that.

‘Oh Ruki’ Kai smiled and instead of explaining it verbally, he gently grabbed Ruki’s hand and placed it on top of his own one. The younger seemed to get the hint because he nodded few times. Kai’s hand was much bigger and wider than Ruki’s little wrist. ‘It was always on Lisa’s to-do list but she was frightened by my big palms. Do you reckon?’

‘I cannot say I’m not turned on by the idea’ Ruki’s groin definitely was taking interest in the plan. Goosebumps appeared on his skin just at the thought of another intimate encounter with Kai and his wife. ‘If it will bring her pleasure I’m doing that. Her safeword remains the same, I suppose?’

‘Yes it’s “mango”, nothing new here’ a hint of pride was getting to Kai’s mind how professional Ruki got since the first time they had him in a scene. ‘And your is?’

‘Sparrow.’

‘Stand up, turn away and lose your shirt’ Kai ordered, getting up himself and unbuckling the collar. Soon Ruki’s shirt was carelessly dropped on the floor and naked, slim back was shown to Kai. Few shivers run through little body before the doctor probably due to coldness of the room. Or maybe because Ruki’s body was getting too hot from the excitement slowly building inside of him. ‘Any requests or hard no-nos for today?’

Ruki felt fingers of the older guy brushing through his hair and pulling them gently off the way from his nape. ‘Usual limits apply. No kissing on my mouth, please. If I may ask, I wish to be denied through the night. Make me as desperate as you desire. Also I could use a little breath control today.’ Just talking about the possibility of having his pleasure delayed was making Ruki’s cock slightly hard. Cold leather that was was being tightened around his neck might have been another cause of that.

‘Noted. Can you breathe comfortably?’ asked Kai and after seeing a confident nod he strapped the metal leash to the collar and let it loose. The doctor backed off a little bit to appreciate the view. Shiny chains lined up with Ruki’s spine, stunningly contrasting with his pale skin, subtly reflecting some of his moles on its surface. Next Kai cut the distance between both of them, slowly plastering himself to Ruki’s back. He reached with his left hand for Ruki’s nipple and started rubbing it simultaneously working his right palm alongside the younger’s buttocks. Kai leaned his head forward and started nipping on the skin of the neck before him. All these actions resulted in sweet whimpers coming from Ruki’s throat. ‘Excited, are we?’ whispered Kai and lightly bit on the earlobe this time, making Ruki shiver.

‘Yes, very much.’ Ruki’s voice came out hoarse and deep. He mewled loudly in disappointment as he felt Kai backing off once again and grabbing the leather handle of the chain leash.‘Let’s go out then. I believe Lisa is dying to see us at the door’ Kai vigorously walked to the door, leading Ruki with a leash.

When they entered the hotel corridor Ruki’s mind started fighting itself. In the back of his head one voice was screaming that he was half-naked, lead on the leash and definitely aroused in a public space, where anyone could see him. But most of his mind was extremely aroused by the whole humiliating situation. And he was positive Kai was walking so slowly on purpose. When Ruki tried to pick up a quicker pace the collar would choke him.

Suddenly sound of approaching steps could be heard. Ruki started praying that was just a product of his paranoid mind. Soon he spotted a nicely dressed woman clearly walking in their direction. Ruki lowered his head and squinted his eyes, relying from now on only on his hearing, even though it was now disrupted by murmurs of pulsing of the blood due to his crazy heart rate.

‘That won’t do baby. Straighten up and show off’ Kai reprimanded the younger. Ruki could bet raw money the doctor was now deviously smirking. He obeyed the order though. When the woman walked by Ruki it was clear to him she was just pretending she didn’t saw both of them. However the beet red colour her face turned spoke more for a  truth that she was embarrassed and scandalized by the exhibitionistic behaviour. On the contrary Ruki’s cock was for sure getting too heavy in his pants. So he was vastly happy when he saw the door to Kai’s room.

Kai smoothly swiped the key card on the sensor and unlocked the door. The doctor pushed Ruki forward to the room and going in himself. He quickly eyed the younger to check if the quick walk was enough set him in the mood. The visible bulge in Ruki’s trousers didn’t leave him disappointed at all.

When both of them passed through small hallway, a big king-sized bed appeared to their eyes. It was finished with four stunning wooden pillars on each corner. An unusual decoration was added to one of the columns though. More specifically it was a chubby body knotted with black rope in kinbaku style. Ruki loudly gasped at the sight. The way Lisa’s white skin contrasted both with the darkness of rope and the mahogany bed was astounding.

‘Kai’ Lisa spoke in a desperate and husky voice. She started fairly shaking but her movements were remarkably restricted by the bonds. ‘Please Kai’ a few drops falling from between her legs on the bed sheet could be spotted.

Ruki waited for Kai’s reaction and the unfoldment of the situation in silence. He soon felt the leather chain hitting his back. It didn’t really hurt just surprised him. Ruki saw Kai walking in rush to Lisa, as if in rage. The doctor reached his hand between his wife’s legs, picking up some of the mucus and wiped it on Lisa’s belly. She contorted her face in delight of the quick touch. ‘Leaking already?’ Kai asked in annoyed manner. ‘Better save it for later because I have no intention on untying you since I have someone else to play with.’

A loud mewl of pleasure escaped Lisa’s mouth. Even though Kai hinted on the delay of her pleasure, that was exactly what she enjoyed and wanted. ‘No, please’ she still begged Kai while trying to escape the bonds just for the show.

Kai leaned, looked his wife in the eyes and grabbed her face, squishing her cheeks. ‘You are hopeless. Now be quiet. I don’t want any sounds coming from your filthy mouth, understood?’ He waited for the slight nod to let go of Lisa’s face and turn his face in Ruki’s direction. ‘You. I want you on your knees before me. Now.’

Ruki immediately picked up a rapid pace and fell on his knees before Kai. He also obnoxiously run his tongue on his lips just to tease the older. But he didn’t say a single word, aware Kai didn’t like his subs making unnecessary noises. Ruki looked up at Kai who was currently unbuttoning his shirt in a really appealing way. After the shirt was abandoned and on the floor, Kai reached for his fly. He looked down on Ruki, his face daring, while unzipping his fly and taking out his cock.

Ruki’s lips were immediately open waiting for Kai to put his penis inside. Yet when everything that Kai did was slowly stroke his dick, Ruki risked being punished and leaned in for the taste of Kai’s cock. He slowly caressed all along the penis with his tongue. When Ruki reached Kai’s hand that was circled around the base he made sure to lick and suck on every finger. After that action a deep growl escaped Kai’s mouth.

‘Yes, take it in like you really want it’ Kai muttered, opened his legs for better leverage and pushes his hips up. Ruki took the hint and slowly came back to the crown, delicately swirling his tongue along the biggest vain that now was obnoxiously showing. The tingling sensation in lower abdomen overtook Kai and left him shivering. The blond guy’s oral skills were simply too sinful. Ruki finally opened his mouth and slowly slided Kai’s cock past his lips. He teased the doctor by lazily swirling his tongue on the dick. Pleasure that he gained from submitting to Kai like that left him as hard as the flesh inside his mouth.

Suddenly Ruki felt a rapid thug on the leash making him choke on the cock that was now hitting the back of his throat. Kai held on the chain for few seconds even though Ruki’s reflexes were now fighting him. He kept Ruki still for few seconds, enjoying the convulsions of throat muscles sending the best sensations to his nervous system. Doctor watched carefully for any nonverbal signs of Ruki backing off from the scene, but there were none. After short period of time he let go of the leash just to see Ruki backing off and coughing few times, making a mess out of himself, drooling saliva all over his chin.

Kai looked at Ruki’s debauched face for a second, appreciating the view. ‘Take it.’ he cruely ordered and pushed his cock inside Ruki’s mouth once again holding on the leash. The power of harshly taking without giving was nearing him to orgasm. And the way Ruki was now placing his little palms on Kai’s thighs trying to push himself off the older’s dick was beautifully pathetic. The collar around his neck was keeping him still, impaled on the cock and clenching his throat around it. Kai’s actions surely were leaving Ruki desperate, yet not on the verge of release. When the younger’s eyes started to get watery and glassy Kai let go of the chain.

Ruki fell on his butt and widely opened his mouth, grabbing his throat and wheezing loudly. His heart was kicking. After he caught up on the oxygen, a feeling of an overwhelming weight between his legs reached his mind. He was hopelessly aroused. ‘Please’ he begged, not really knowing what for. Ruki was still breathing heavily and few drops of saliva were dripping from his plump lips.

Soon there was a hand reaching behind his head. Ruki was expecting another rough thug on the leash and squinted his eyes but instead there was a light runthrough his sweaty hair. Then few messy strands were brushed off Ruki’s face. When he opened his eyes there was Kai’s smirking face waiting for his attention. ‘Make me come with your tongue but keep all the semen inside your mouth’ were the only words preparing Ruki for Kai’s dick once again between his lips.

Not long after that, Ruki’s tongue flicking set Kai over the edge and his cum spurted inside Ruki’s mouth. Somehow Ruki got lost in giving Kai the blowjob he completely forgot about the order to keep the load inside and he swallowed everything. He already knew the consequences of that wouldn’t be the nicest.

‘Open your mouth and show me what you got.’

Ruki shut his eyes closed so tightly, his forehead was now frowned. Slowly he parted his lips, overflowing with fear and excitement for the punishment. His tongue was soon out for Kai to inspect. After few moments of complete silence, except from three different rapid, unstable breaths Ruki decided to open his eyes. It was just in time when firm hand connected with his right cheek. The smack didn’t really carry a lot of power. Though it was strong enough for Ruki to turn his head and have that stingy feeling on his skin.

When Ruki finally looked at Kai’s face he saw that the man was infuriated. ‘You are just a hopeless little bitch you know’ the doctor grabbed the leash and forcefully raised Ruki on his feet. ‘If you want to fuck around like that okay.’ Kai hooked the leash around the pillar of bed and strapped it, leaving Ruki not more than half a foot length of the chain to move his body. ‘But remember your actions have consequences’ the older’s voice came out loud and very angry. Ruki’s pants were soon unbuttoned by Kai. He squatted and pushed them down along with underwear in one rapid move. A desperate moan escaped the younger’s mouth, his cock finally out of its prison.

Soon Kai was circling his finger around the crown of Ruki’s dick and watching the blond thrust his hips up to the minimal touch. Then the doctor stood up and leaned his head closer to Ruki’s one. ‘This thing’ Kai grabbed both Ruki’s chin and base of cock and looked him straight in the eyes. ‘I’m not seeing you touch it until I say you can.’

After losing on the grab Kai turned his attention towards his wife. Her eyes were filled with sparks of happiness, finally knowing that Kai will be taking care of her. The doctor untied the bonds tying Lisa to the column and thrown her body on the bed, making her out of breath. He kept her short of oxygen with kissing her deeply and sultry. Their tongues entangled, both of them hot and bothered by now. Kai suddenly broke the kiss and travelled his mouth all over Lisa’s body, slowly making his way between her legs. Every touch on the skin resulted in a loud mewl from Kai’s wife.

On the other side there was Ruki left alone, standing attached to a pillar back from the pair. Moans and wet sounds of Kai getting down on his wife were making him go nearly insane. The weight of his testicles was unimaginable. After a while Ruki figured that he was actually able to turn his head enough to see the couple. But doing that was equal to giving up on his breath because of the leather collar cutting his airways. Nonetheless that deal only made him more hard, if it was even possible at that state.

Every few second he allowed himself to look on the pair were definitely heated. The way Lisa’s body was trying to jiggle around the bed, yet not really able to because of the rope around her. Her face contorted in pleasure was simply stunning. And the low growls and moans Kai produced while eating his wife out. Adding all of these together made Ruki grip his thighs so hard to distract himself from touching himself, he was sure next day he would be bruised.

‘Kai no, please don’t stop’ Lisa screamed out when her husband straightened up. She was on the verge of tears when she saw Kai leaving the bed and heading to untie Ruki. Both of her holes were warmed up and ready for taking anything and everything Kai had in mind for her.

‘Now we are going to put the hopeless you in a good use’ Kai completely ignored his wife and turned his attention towards Ruki. He unclipped the leash, leaving the collar on. ‘Get on the right side of Lisa on the bed.’ Kai watched Ruki compile. Meanwhile he reached for lube that was conveniently placed on the bedside table beforehand. He grabbed it and took the spot on the other side of his wife, roughly grabbing the bonds and turning her on her side.

The utter degradation Lisa was faced upon only made her crave more and more. She tried to stick out her butt more towards Ruki, even though she knew she couldn’t. Kai quickly noticed the contraction of muscles and shortly after that a few smacks landed on Lisa’s buttocks. ‘Who raised you to be such a slut. Can’t you live without a goddamn moment without acting like a whore’ he continued hitting her ass and in the meantime he passed the lube to Ruki. When he was pleased with the shade of red Lisa’s butt turned to, he nodded to the blond to start fingering the asshole before him.

Ruki thoroughly coated his whole hand in lube and squirted some in the cleavage that was now presented to him. Directly after that he put one finger past the ring of muscles. When he didn’t spot any resistance he confidently put second and third finger. To his surprise that action was met with nothing but an appreciating moans. ‘Yes, more, please more’ Lisa shouted shamelessly. And Ruki couldn’t do anything else than push his pinky finger inside. It met a little bit of resistivity. But soon Ruki was able to enjoy the view of four of his fingers stretching an asshole. A sight he would never expect himself to enjoy. Yet there he was, kneeling on Kai and Lisa’s bed, being a three knuckles deep in a woman, with cock throbbing and oozing crazy amount of precum.

‘Make me proud you slut, take it’  Kai said and started twisting Lisa’s nipples. He nodded towards Ruki, as a sign of permission to take it one step further. One finger, to be certain.

Ruki backed his hand out from woman's ass to smear on on it a little bit more lube. He pressed his thumb to his palm and pushed the hand back inside. When the asshole muscles reached the widest part of his hand Ruki closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of tight hotness around his limb. He snached them open when he spotted a slight pressure coming from one side of Lisa’s inside. It turned out Kai was currently pushing his cock inside his wife, even though Ruki was still a hand deep inside her asshole. When most of his shaft was inside Ruki could evidently feel the outline of Kai’s dick through the rectum. And when the doctor started slowly thrusting his hips Ruki felt sinfully dirty. Ruki hopelessly buckled his hips in the air. The foreign feeling was overwhelming him so much though, he had to focus all of his mind on not reaching the climax.

‘Please, let me touch myself, I beg you’ breathed out Ruki, his eyes hazy, mix of moans and sounds of skin slapping echoing in his ears. Kai’s dick was still thrusting inside Lisa. ‘Remove the hand slowly and stroke yourself to completion.” The answer came after a while.

The youngest did as he was ordered to, slowly taking out his hand while watching mesmerised as the body stretched. As soon as he had it out, he circled his fingers around his cock and started stroking it in fast manner. Ruki growled, his dick finally given long awaited attention. His vision turned blurry when two fingers entered him without a warning. They flexed expertly and reached his prostate. That crossed the amount of willpower he had to deny his orgasm and soon he was cumming with few hard spurts all over his stomach and obscure squeal leaving his throat.

Ruki collapsed hopelessly on the sheets. The room went silent for him, before his eyes was just a foggy mess. He was breathing heavily and deeply, everything was spinning inside his head. His orgasm was so overwhelming and powerful he felt like he detached himself from the outside world, as if floating mindlessly on a fluffy cloud. The pleasure was so intense, coming back from it resulted in few salty tears streaming down Ruki’s face.

After few moments Ruki, still in his post-orgasmic state felt the collar being removed as well as his hand, stomach and face being wiped with a damp towel. He tried to say something but only incoherent mumbles were escaping his mouth so he gave up. Soon his eyelids started feeling heavy and he fell asleep.

 

x x x

 

‘Dad wake up!’ were the first words Kai heard in the morning. He opened his eyes slowly to see his son Adam shaking his arm, holding a key card in his hand. The father growled disgruntled and stretched himself. ‘Dad, it’s important! Ruki is gone!’

‘What?’ Kai was momentarily fully awake and looking around the room. Nothing. Not a single trace of Ruki. Except a little white envelope propped on the cabinet next to the TV with “Lisa” scribbled on it.  

‘He is gone, dad! He left me a short letter and said it was time for him to leave’ Adam was on the verge of tears, clearly not over the possibility of Ruki not being present in his life anymore. ‘He wrote me two lines in japanese and asked to translate it every now and then to learn that the meaning of words change with the time. I don’t quite understand it, dad.’

‘I know, that’s why he wrote that, you know.” Kai laughed out loud. That sounded so like Ruki.

‘Why would he leave like that without a word…’ Lisa wondered, now fully awake and propped on her elbow eyeing her husband. ‘You have something on your forehead.’

Kai’s reached his hand to his forehead and unglued from it a little sticky note. He read it quickly.

 

‘ _Your coffee always tastes bitter because you overload the cup filter._

_Old man.’_

 

‘That bastard’ hissed Kai and started shaking his head.

 

x x x

 

Ruki looked in the back mirror outside the car and watched as the outline of Berlin’s buildings slowly disappeared in the distance. He soon rested his head on the headrest of the car seat and hummed to himself mysterious melody that stuck to his head when he wrote the letter to Adam this morning. And even though he was sure he didn’t know it, the words and tune fitted perfectly.

_wasurenaide kokoro wa shinanai~_

_wasurenaide sou yume wa sakayume~_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean I mean I mean...  
> I meaaaan.  
> Idk

**Author's Note:**

> Because Ruki is as obsessed with Halsey as I am. And I kind of wanted to see him as that "free soul" character.
> 
> Oh yeah and btw this is a pure trash. Feel free to say how trashy it is. Best comment wins a cake.
> 
> xxx
> 
> I was asked to post Hurricane playlist so here it is
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/shiroi-spica/playlist/57wSsxacYW5ItYXpRhSmWI


End file.
